Undergraduate / 'Music: Friend, Or Enemy?' - Common app essay [3]

Please help me edit! When I get intimidated, I freeze up. I need help with transitions, repetitiveness, and general evocation of thought. I guess this would fall under topic of my choice.

Music: Friend, Or Enemy?

There are certain obstacles most people come across during high school: bad teachers, difficult classes, and, especially in the case of girls, distinguishing true friends from friends that counter as enemies, or "frenemies." Up until recently, I thought I had done a fairly decent job of sorting out the two. That is, however, I came to the realization that I had put all of my faith into the greatest frenemy I have ever known.

Music is often referred to as a best friend, a lover, or even a sibling. People describe it as that confidant, that missing piece of your soul, that easy and natural fit everyone sets out to find. If only it were that simple for me. Personally, music is that person running faster on the treadmill next to me. It is that classmate who scored higher than me on a test and smirked derisively. It is that rival who acts under the pretense that it is nothing to worry about, yet continuously devises new methods to bring me down. Music and I met in the second grade, when the elementary school's instrumental teacher accepted my request to join the fourth grade band. By being handed that pair of crash symbols, an unofficial declaration of war was signed. Sixth grade was the first time I picked up my weapon of choice: the trombone.

The next three years might be considered my boot camp. I learned the fundamentals of trombone, and picked up other instruments on the side to expand my musical knowledge. The culmination of my training led to the actual start of the war, also known as freshman year. Freshman year was when I made the decision to pursue music as an interest, as opposed to playing in a class for half an hour a day. I fought many battles, most of which came in the form of auditions. Whenever music seized a win, I knew I had to improve myself to prevent further losses. Such was the case with my first All South Jersey band audition. I was not nearly at the musical caliber such an ensemble required of me, and consequently failed my audition. The following year, with another year's worth of knowledge, dedication, and a stricter practice routine, I was granted a seat in the ensemble and a personal victory.

There are countless times when I have wanted to surrender. Countless times I have wanted to put my trombone in the attic and call it quits. Each time, however, I am stopped by the realization that music's prime objective is not to destroy me, but rather to improve me. There is an adage that states, "If it were easy, it wouldn't be worth doing." Perhaps that sneer at my lower test grade was not purely from arrogance, but one to encourage me to try harder. Music has taught me the value of dedication and perseverance. It makes every musical accomplishment a hard-earned achievement. When I don't succeed, it makes me all the more determined to work harder and make myself a better musician.

The values I have learned from music have also carried over into other aspects of my life.

and I would write a paragraph about how it has helped me in school and work and stuff, then a conclusion paragraph, which is the scariest part of this.