gospelkeys
Oct 9, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'A person of good moral character' - Writing Sample [2]
In my first attempt I didn't pass the writing portion of the basic skills test. Below is a writing sample. Please help me.
The most influential and important person in my life is my mother. She has so many great attributes that have been beneficial to me. My mother is a very loving and caring person. My mother, Ruth Thomas was born in Conway Arkansas in 1931. She and her sister migrated to Detroit in search for better job opportunities. While living in the city of Detroit my mother married Ralph; as a result of this union I was born. Although I was the youngest member of my family, my mother treated me as her only child. My mother did so many wonderful things for me; she cooked great meals, provided clothes, instilled sound moral values, and attended to my illnesses. I will always cherish my early childhood memories.
During my early childhood my mother was always there for me. If I became ill, she stayed by my side to help me. The household medicines that my mother commonly used were father john, and castor oil. In addition to these medicines, my mother would stay up most of the night rubbing me with alcohol or with a cold towel wrapped in ice to lower my fever. I greatly appreciate the care that I received from my mother, because of her care I always was able to recover from my sicknesses.
Moreover, I deeply appreciate the times when during the holidays my mother would demonstrate her love for me by cooking wonderful meals. With great anticipation, I eagerly awaited for thanksgiving holidays to arrive. For long hours, my mother labor over a hot oven cooking turkey and preparing other dishes for the thanksgiving meal. I would always become very excited when seeing how my mother prepared the foods and arranged them on dining room table. My mother would smile as I enjoyed eating the scrumptious and delectable thanksgiving dinner. Besides cooking wonderful meals for special holiday seasons, my mother provided me with nice clothes. Due to her concern for my physical appearance, at the beginning of each school year my mother took me shopping for school clothes. These clothes made me so proud. When I went to school I really felt good to have on some nice clothes. One of The most important contributions that my mother made in my life was that she instilled in me sound moral values.
If I got into any trouble or disobeyed her rules for conduct, my mother would punish me. She always corrected me for wrongdoings. Because of her strict disciplining, I certainly can say that I am a person of good moral character.
In my first attempt I didn't pass the writing portion of the basic skills test. Below is a writing sample. Please help me.
The most influential and important person in my life is my mother. She has so many great attributes that have been beneficial to me. My mother is a very loving and caring person. My mother, Ruth Thomas was born in Conway Arkansas in 1931. She and her sister migrated to Detroit in search for better job opportunities. While living in the city of Detroit my mother married Ralph; as a result of this union I was born. Although I was the youngest member of my family, my mother treated me as her only child. My mother did so many wonderful things for me; she cooked great meals, provided clothes, instilled sound moral values, and attended to my illnesses. I will always cherish my early childhood memories.
During my early childhood my mother was always there for me. If I became ill, she stayed by my side to help me. The household medicines that my mother commonly used were father john, and castor oil. In addition to these medicines, my mother would stay up most of the night rubbing me with alcohol or with a cold towel wrapped in ice to lower my fever. I greatly appreciate the care that I received from my mother, because of her care I always was able to recover from my sicknesses.
Moreover, I deeply appreciate the times when during the holidays my mother would demonstrate her love for me by cooking wonderful meals. With great anticipation, I eagerly awaited for thanksgiving holidays to arrive. For long hours, my mother labor over a hot oven cooking turkey and preparing other dishes for the thanksgiving meal. I would always become very excited when seeing how my mother prepared the foods and arranged them on dining room table. My mother would smile as I enjoyed eating the scrumptious and delectable thanksgiving dinner. Besides cooking wonderful meals for special holiday seasons, my mother provided me with nice clothes. Due to her concern for my physical appearance, at the beginning of each school year my mother took me shopping for school clothes. These clothes made me so proud. When I went to school I really felt good to have on some nice clothes. One of The most important contributions that my mother made in my life was that she instilled in me sound moral values.
If I got into any trouble or disobeyed her rules for conduct, my mother would punish me. She always corrected me for wrongdoings. Because of her strict disciplining, I certainly can say that I am a person of good moral character.