Posts by sir

sir_alex92

Jan 8, 2013

Writing Feedback / Which way is the best for a student to make new friends? (TOEFL) [3]

Also on the road, students can find friends who can share their happiness of traveling with each other. But if you want to find a lot of true friend that when you are in need they will give you a help, attending the sports team will be a good choice.

for me, this part is a little bit confused. You should explain clearer (if you have good points to support) why attending sport team is a superior choice compare to other options.

the third passage of yours about "the common goal", i think, is very good. But the second passage about "meeting a lot of new friends", it's idea is not really strong, since you can also meet a lot of interesting ppl by taking part in others two possibilities. You might make it stronger by saying "not everyone has opportunity to travel a lot"...

sir_alex92

Dec 30, 2012

Writing Feedback / Toefl essay: One very important skill a person should learn; Soft-skills [2]

hi everyone, i'm preparing to take the Toefl test in February 2013. The problem is my writing skill is so bad :( So i'm practicing writing every day and i hope that you guys on the forum can help me by pointing out errors on my essays and giving me advice to improve :)

So here my essay:
TOPIC:
What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

ESSAY

In the world nowadays, besides of knowledge, soft-skills is one important factor determining the success of young people. Among of all the skill that the youth should arm themselves with, communication skill is one of the most important. Having a good ability to communicate not only help you to build up relationships, present ideas but also make you a better leader.

People with good communicating ability often have many friends at many ages and work in a variety of majors. This gives them huge advantages in their future work. No matter what trouble they may have to face in the future, they can always find someone to ask for help or consultancy. Imagine you have just started working as a salesman, you may find accomplishing your sale target very difficult if you don't have much friend who can help you. In contradict, when you have wide relationships, you can start by choosing acquaintances that may interested in your product and contact them. They may buy it or introduce you to their friends who want to buy your product. Have many good relationships can bring you a lot in your future career and a good communication skill will help you to build up relationships.

Another thing that you most of young people find challenging when they begin working is that they can express their idea with their colleges. Maybe because they are too shy or have trouble with talking in public. The best way to solve this is learning how to improve your communication skill. With good communication skill, you will become more confident to talk and present your thoughts in public. Knowing how to make good impression while communicate also boots your chances of success when you have to negotiate or persuade your clients, your employer.

One final thing we cannot forget when talking about the benefits of communication skill is that it make youngster better leader. We all know that a good leader is not the most intelligent one but the one who can inspire everybody the most. And how can you motivate people around you? Mostly using your words, by communicate with them. In order to advance your career, prepare yourself good communication skill in essential.

All in all, communication brings the youth a lot of benefits. It help youngster have more good relationships, make them more confidence and better leaders. That's why learning how to communicate is very important for young people in order to be successful in the future.