Writing Feedback / My father and my eldest brother shaped my personality into what I am today [NEW]

Please proofread my essay and correct if there is any grammatical mistake. Thank you in advanced. I have to write 3 pages, so it's like 1000 words.

Important Individuals in My Own Life

Who is that person help to shape either positively or negatively your personality into what you are today? There are many people who have either influenced or contributed in positively or negatively me in my life. Because of them, I have definitely become what I am today; it could be your family members, your teachers, or your friends. There are five family members in my family. My oldest brother had always taken care of everything as possible to help out my mother. There are two people who have always significantly contributed to my life; for me, people who have certainly contributed into my life are my oldest brother and my father. One was my oldest brother who had always taken care of my school stuffs and me in my childhood and one is my father who has been taking care of my school stuffs since adolescence stage of my life. With their wonderful supports, I have now become what I always wanted to be and am also currently taking required classes for a nursing major to become a successful registered nurse.

First of all, the first person who has a huge impact in my life is, none other than, my oldest brother, his name is James White and he was the oldest siblings out of three. As the oldest siblings in the family, he had not only to be responsible all of the family matters but also take care of his younger siblings. Because my mother has had a heart attack and my father left to the United States of America when I was five years old. He loves to read a book and always tells what is the advantage or benefit of reading a book. Furthermore, he was very smart at school and in studying because my mother told me that he had won the prizes from the elementary school to high school; however, he did not attend college because of financial issue in my family. Due to this fact, he had never complained about his education to my parents. Moreover, he even spent time with my studying or going over my lecture. For example, he would tutor me for my weak subjects and always be ready to help me whenever I have trouble. Instead of my mother, he would always walk me to the school for picking me up or dropping me off everyday. He often gave me pocket - money when I went to school or frequently cherishes me since I was the youngest child in the family. Especially, one day, I almost got hit by a car on my way to school, and then he quickly grabbed me and even yelled at the driver for not driving a car carefully. I was only thirteen years old and I would definitely get hit by a car if my oldest brother did not save me. He is the person who occasionally taught me how to live safely as a girl and is always protective for me so, he has been an inspiration throughout my entire life. Because of his care and kind for me, my personality is interesting as well as creative and enthusiastic.

Next, I have moved to the United States of American when I was fifteen years old. When I realized that I had to go to another country for the purpose of education, I felt actually I hurt my feeling because I had to go without my older brothers. Yet, I was happy at the same time to live with my father. My father has always taught me how to be polite and respectful to other people because he is absolutely certain that I might not used to communicate with the culture of the United States of America. Additionally, he encourages me to study hard and believe me that I can achieve as long as I passionately try. Particularly, my uncle had argued with my father to drop me a grade down at school, but my father replied that I am not very that bad in studying. When I started going to attend school, he got a busy life because he had to take care of all my school stuffs and he is the only one who earns money for the family. He is very helpful to other people and inveterate of very optimistic about everything. For instance, my father had gotten three tickets because my friend and I were not wearing a seatbelt at the backseat of the vehicle and he had to be responsible for us according to the law. I was totally sad and depressed about it and could not speak even one word at school and almost shed tears in the class. When I got home from school, my father comforted me about it because he knew that I cried on my way to home and I had red swollen eyes. My father has influenced positively in my life, which turned me into open-minded, flexible and interesting personality.

Later, there are most likely many common facts of my father and my oldest brother. Both of them have ordinary appearances and unique personalities and are pretty helpful, kind, outstanding to other people, likewise, confident about everything. I do not know if my oldest brother is the first child of my family, he might have inherited some of characteristic from my father because the way they handle the problems is generally identical as they solve the matters very calmly and peacefully without having any worries.

In the final analysis, my father and my oldest brother are the type of people whom I must value and love forever and they are sufficiently very important for me as a role model. I feel very much appreciated for what they have done for me, having this kind of optimistic father and supportive older brother. Because of them, I have already successfully gradated from high school and now become a college student who is pursing a nursing major to become a registered nurse.