Undergraduate / "Elaborate on extracurrilar actitivies" essay; I became aware of poverty at 7 [5]

I know you didn't ask for grammar help, but just in case you didn't notice:


"or stock up on canned goods to feed the hungry, and not just for something in return, but simply performing"

I like the essay, but maybe you should start with a short introduction about Key Club? The story/explanation at the beginning was good, but I found myself wondering how it was going to be relative to the extracurricular activities you we're involved with. It was a great hook, I just feel like the reader becomes lost while waiting to find out how the story ties in. Great work!