gbeck
Oct 25, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Passion for debate and joy of winning' - extracurricular Short Essay [5]
That clears it up more for sure.
That clears it up more for sure.
gbeck
Oct 25, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Passion for debate and joy of winning' - extracurricular Short Essay [5]
The essay as a whole is pretty solid, debate is a great activity! The only thing I would say is that you should clear up these 2 sentences: Countless hours are spent painstakingly researching every aspect of the resolution. After compiling this plethora of data into a case, I would finally be ready to put all of that knowledge to use.
I had to reread them to understand exactly what you meant and if you can make this as easy to read as possible that will benefit you because admissions officers have TONS of essays to read.
Best of luck to you!
The essay as a whole is pretty solid, debate is a great activity! The only thing I would say is that you should clear up these 2 sentences: Countless hours are spent painstakingly researching every aspect of the resolution. After compiling this plethora of data into a case, I would finally be ready to put all of that knowledge to use.
I had to reread them to understand exactly what you meant and if you can make this as easy to read as possible that will benefit you because admissions officers have TONS of essays to read.
Best of luck to you!
gbeck
Oct 25, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Experience in speech, soccer, tennis, hockey, FCA..' - Common App [2]
The given prompt was:
A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
Here's the essay, thanks!
My first thought when I read the fifth essay topic was that I finally had a perfect topic to write about. I have a broad range of life experiences, hooray! After this brief celebration I read the entire question and my heart sank. Diversity. I'm not diverse. How is a middle class white kid living in a city that is 96% white, diverse? My initial excitement kept me curious and I began to brainstorm. Clearly I'm not ethnically diverse, but how else can someone be diverse? Then it hit me.
In Fairmont you either play 3 sports and spend your free time watching ESPN or you do your homework, study for the ACT, go to speech meets, and memorize your songs for the musical. In High School I couldn't decide which one of these local stereotypes I wanted to live, so I chose both. In the fall I spend the hour between soccer practice and musical rehearsal eating and finishing my math homework. In the winter I spend the time between speech practice and hockey practice watching an NHL game and perfecting the introduction for my speech. Then in the spring I take breaks from tweaking my forehand volleys to volunteer at the elementary school, lead a Fellowship of Christian Athletes meeting, or let my anti-drug and alcohol group know that we have a meeting coming up. In addition to year round sports, fine arts, and meetings for other organizations, I deliver pizzas 3 nights a week at the best restaurant in town.
So now that I've figured out how I'm diverse, why is that important to me? I have two best friends that I couldn't live without. I spend my time outside playing soccer with one and my time in a suit performing speeches with the other. These are the two most important people to me outside of my family and if i didn't participate in both realms of activities I wouldn't have one of these two. The people I have met through my experiences in the fine arts have challenged me to become a better student and a better performer and their athletic counterparts have pushed me to a high level of physical fitness, inspired my competitive spirit and taught me lessons about teamwork. The combination of lessons learned from the two different worlds I live in have made me a better student, friend, athlete, competitor, performer, and person. Every experience I've had in speech, soccer, tennis, hockey, FCA, the musical, and countless other activities has showed me the good in the people around me and taught me to be open to anything and anyone.
The given prompt was:
A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
Here's the essay, thanks!
My first thought when I read the fifth essay topic was that I finally had a perfect topic to write about. I have a broad range of life experiences, hooray! After this brief celebration I read the entire question and my heart sank. Diversity. I'm not diverse. How is a middle class white kid living in a city that is 96% white, diverse? My initial excitement kept me curious and I began to brainstorm. Clearly I'm not ethnically diverse, but how else can someone be diverse? Then it hit me.
In Fairmont you either play 3 sports and spend your free time watching ESPN or you do your homework, study for the ACT, go to speech meets, and memorize your songs for the musical. In High School I couldn't decide which one of these local stereotypes I wanted to live, so I chose both. In the fall I spend the hour between soccer practice and musical rehearsal eating and finishing my math homework. In the winter I spend the time between speech practice and hockey practice watching an NHL game and perfecting the introduction for my speech. Then in the spring I take breaks from tweaking my forehand volleys to volunteer at the elementary school, lead a Fellowship of Christian Athletes meeting, or let my anti-drug and alcohol group know that we have a meeting coming up. In addition to year round sports, fine arts, and meetings for other organizations, I deliver pizzas 3 nights a week at the best restaurant in town.
So now that I've figured out how I'm diverse, why is that important to me? I have two best friends that I couldn't live without. I spend my time outside playing soccer with one and my time in a suit performing speeches with the other. These are the two most important people to me outside of my family and if i didn't participate in both realms of activities I wouldn't have one of these two. The people I have met through my experiences in the fine arts have challenged me to become a better student and a better performer and their athletic counterparts have pushed me to a high level of physical fitness, inspired my competitive spirit and taught me lessons about teamwork. The combination of lessons learned from the two different worlds I live in have made me a better student, friend, athlete, competitor, performer, and person. Every experience I've had in speech, soccer, tennis, hockey, FCA, the musical, and countless other activities has showed me the good in the people around me and taught me to be open to anything and anyone.
