Undergraduate / "How can love change a person?" -SUNY application essay- [3]

I'm fairly new to this so can someone revise this for me? My writing skills aren't that good since I was born in China but i tried my best.

Tell us about a person or experience you have encountered. Describe how that encounter challenged you and resulted in personal growth

Love. What does that word truly mean? It varies with other individuals. Some might think love is what defines us as human beings others might think it's just a word that has absolutely no value. . From my experience, it's something much deeper than just a word, it's anxiety, depression, hatred, and strength.

At the start of my junior year of high school, I walked into my physics class for the first time. I sat down second last row, second seat, eager to start learning. Then, she walked in. A girl so beautiful, pretty, and cute that I was at an absolute loss for words. She proceeded to sit next to me, we awkwardly exchanged but I felt stupid and just looked away.

Back then, I was the very gawky, quiet type. Day after day, I would see her, make eye-contact, trying to muster up the courage to say "Hi" but fail miserably. One day after class, the two of us were the last to leave the room when unexpectedly she called my name and said "Lets walk to class together". I was flabbergasted. I didn't know how to respond so I let out a simple "alright" . As I walked her to class, I felt my heart beating intensely. That's when I realized my true feelings for her but I was still unable to start a conversation. I started to change the way I dress and my own personality to try and impress her but that only pushed her away from me more.

Our awkwardness continued for a few months until one day she stopped talking to me. I began to fill with depression and anxiety. I was not the same person as before. I started to seclude myself from my friends. How could one girl change me that much? We continued ignoring each other for the rest of the school year. I thought I should take my mind off her, so I took a summer job at a hospital.

At orientation, I saw a familiar girl across from me. As fate had it, she was there. We just looked at each other saying no words. Just like that all the feelings I had for her came rushing back. I tried so hard to forget about her that I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted her. I had never experienced this feeling my life. was this what they call love? I decided to take the risk, it's better knowing then to feel guilt of what could have. I met up with her after work and asked her to be mine..but she just looked at me with a blank expression. Right there I knew her answer. I felt no pain but relief. Relief from the guilt. I was free from the burden of love. Though love, I have faced my fears of rejection and took risks I would have never in my past. Maybe I'll do it again someday.