Posts by Kayshel

Kayshel

Jan 20, 2009

Writing Feedback / Several different ways in which colleges fail to prepare students for life. [7]

I'm really at a loss starting back to school after so many years. I really can't think of what to write about. We are in Little Brown Reader and read "The Lessons I didn't learn in College" by Caitlin Petre. Her essay centered on many skills not taught in college she thought she should have been, like how to fill out w2 forms, Irs forms,rent an apartment, those kind of things.Something a person would have to learn as you go down life's path.Do you think my first sentence in my conclusion would make more sense, since I picked out parenting. No one learns that in college either? I was just trying to make an example for just one minor area.

the three topic sentences were for each of the three paragraphs I was going to start(when I thought I had to write two more) for the essay. The second paragraph that would have been turned in with this essay would have been about coping and the third about how to encourage children to eat well.

(to Sean) how does using a solitary example weaken the essay? I truly cannot think of a thing to write about.
My teacher added no quotes(afterall-she announced today--write two introductions and two conclusions along with the rest to hand in Thursday. Plus a bunch of questions she wants us to answer on our own essay. Still hoping you all can help...I'll still try and keep going here.

I want to thank you all for your honest input, I'm trying to understand all this myself, and I greatly appreciate all the time you took to read my essay. I'll put some more in later.Thanks!

Kayshel

Jan 19, 2009

Writing Feedback / Several different ways in which colleges fail to prepare students for life. [7]

Essay 1 is to have thesis, topic sentences(x3), an introduction (100 words), a full body parapgraph(250-300 words) discussing thesis and at least 3 subpoints, and a conclusion (at least 100 words)Essay requires 400-500 words. Also at least two quotes, paraphrases, and /or summaries from at least one LBR essay. Students are not to do outside research for this essay. Use of real people examples to back up general points, use of MLA parenthetical citations, and careful proofreading.

My essay is selected as "discuss several significant ways in which colleges fail to prepare students to meet the demands of "real life."

[b]Essay 1:[b]
Thesis:
College doesn't teach a student basic infant care, how to cope with children, or how to encourage a child to eat well.

Topic Sentences:
1. College doesn't teach a student about how to bathe a baby, change a diaper, or feed a baby.

2. Among the many things not taught in college is how to cope with the infant when the child has colic or is teething.

3. A student may learn about basic nutrition, but does not prepare the student to encoruage a child to eat well.

Introduction:

Caitlin Petere states in, The Lessons I didn't learn in Real Life essay "...there's a discrepancy between what we learn in school and what we need to know for work...". College students are educated with the basic knowledge which they must learn to apply, but does not prepare students for the demands of real life of employment or personal life skills, such as parenting. Parenting is the hardest form of work, due to the fact it is the only work a person will do twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. College doesn't teach basic infant care, or how to cope with children, or how to encourage a child to eat well.

Body Paragraph:

College doesn't teach a student about how to bathe an infant, change a diapers or feed a baby. Students are not taught to make sure that the water is tepid, so as not to scald or not to chill an nfant. The are also not told how to test the bath water by placing their own elbow into the water to do so. After baby has its bath, a student is not taught how to apply baby powder to the their hand and then apply to baby, so the child doesn't asphyxiate on powder. Another area students do not learn is how to change a diaper and to stifle their gag reflex when it is discovered that baby depostited a nice strange yellow bowel movement, add slimy if Mom is breast feeding. In addition, if baby isn't changed often enough Mom or Dad will discover baby's blotchy looking bottom. A student will not learn in college that infants must be fed at least every three to four hours and that they will be getting up in the wee hours of the morning to do so.A student doesn't learn that babies must be burped and what is ejected is a sometimes small mass of goopy, smelly, white formula and that it is gross, usually making Mom or Dad change their clothes. Quite often a graduated student will wish they had learned, that infeffective burping can cause colic, a gassy stomach will cause baby and parents loss of sleep. Mom and Dad are not taught that there are different ways to ease the infant by excessive patting on the back and walking walking with baby, taking baby on a car ride, and that there are even little baby gas drops to buy.

Conclusion:

The topics for what a student does not learn in college is vast, ranging from lacking the education concerning children to facets of everday life, such as knowing how to write a check and managing checking accounts to filling out job application, to run a household, or time management. College does not teach graduates how to handle customer/client interaction, especially when the grad is faced with an irate customer/client. Many students do not realize, because they do not learn in college, that they are educated with the basic knkowledge in which they must learn to apply and that all the rest are generally life experiences from which they must live and learn. As Petre states, "So much for being a well educated college graduate."