Posts by sailinalbion

sailinalbion

Nov 6, 2012

Writing Feedback / Feedback- Has technology isolated us from society and nature? [2]

have a great impact on us (opposed to 'to us')

making our lives easier to live and able to do things we could not do fifty years ago (perhaps expand upon this, use some examples. what could we not do 50 years ago? also, this seems to wordy)

human living lifestyle (no need for 'human living', lifestyle will be sufficient)

sent by man, mainly, and most importantly, communication satellites. (a couple of commas between 'and most importantly')

different region of the world (sounds better than 'on the map')

and every other friend we have gained from the past. (opposed to 'come up with')

Other than the above points, I believe this quite a good essay. Well Done :)

sailinalbion

Nov 6, 2012

Undergraduate / 'track was for fun' - extraciricular essay [2]

xpmichy

Usain Bolt (capital B)

spend my after-school time not on the computer, but outside on the fields. (comma before but)

It's 5:30pm and we are still out in the yard, running around the field, It was probably our 20th time. (perhaps a comma before 'it was propably our 20th time')

To me, track was for fun, not something to get worked up for, but high school was when I started viewing track in a different light. (comma before 'but high school')

Despite all this, I started to love track because it made me realize that I could perform all those push ups and made me want to strive to attain that faster time. (I changed some of the words but it could be improved on, as it seems too wordy)

Depending on who you send this essay to, it might be a good idea to omit the part where you say that you 'skipped school'.

Well I hope this advice helps you. Good Luck :)

sailinalbion

Nov 6, 2012

Graduate / 'The Central Dogma of Molecular Biology' - SOP for a PhD in Cancer Biology [2]

Hi!
I am currently writing an SOP in an attempt to attain a studentship at a graduate school in the UK and would greatly appreciate any suggestions or help anyone can give.

The projects I am applying for are concerned with DNA repair and DNA replication in context to cancer. This is my first draft and my first attempt at writing an SOP. The application states that I must give a brief summary of my research interests and career aspirations, including why you want to do a PhD and why you are applying to this particular university, with word limit of 300. Here goes:

I remember the feelings of sudden wonder, excitement and amazement the first time the Central Dogma of Molecular Biology was explained to me. It was only then did I truly appreciate that everything we are is derived from a macromolecule composed of five common elements. This fascination grew as the structure and function of DNA was further explained to show how this macromolecule replicates, repairs and expresses itself in such a complex and organised manner, that something as simple as a single nucleotide polymorphism could have such devastating effects upon a gene's regulatory network, cellular function and a person's health. Understanding the complexities of these inner cell processes is vital to understanding genetic and molecular causes for diseases such as cancer.

My recent research experience during my undergraduate degree solidified my desire to attain a PhD. Throughout this project I was challenged in every way possible, however, my level of organisation, discipline and enthusiasm led to the production of a dissertation which contributed to the knowledge of insect genetics and insecticide resistance. The level of satisfaction I gained from doing so was unprecedented, I felt as though I had finally found something that I could dedicate my working life to; molecular research. My final year of university increased my communication, planning and problem solving skills to unknown heights and I wish for this to continue. Ultimately, my goal is to work in molecular cancer research and have a possible future in academia after completing my doctorate, allowing me to inspire a new generation of young scientists. I believe that the ------ Institute can help me attain my goal, as a number of PhD programs correlate with my interests.