Undergraduate / Commonapp "Pick one activity and elaborate..." Fort Wayne Children's Choir [2]

All feedback is appreciated!
The prompt reads..

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

As a 3 year old from the back seat of my parents' car, I would often request my Dad turn off the Rolling Stones and pop in the Mozart CD. Later, I was giddy to be cast as the lead boy soprano role of Beethoven in my fifth grade musical. It was then that my father gave up on his dream of making me the heir to his prized collection of vintage electric guitars, and decided to audition me for the Fort Wayne Children's Choir. For the next 7 years, I would have an experience thats power still multiplies. Beyond improving musicianship, my training and touring with the choir introduced me to a sense of professionalism and responsibility, and deepened my understanding of people, culture, and myself. I know this opportunity will serve me far beyond the career in music I now endeavor to achieve. As a student, leader, and human rights activist, I have found my independent voice and strength through the power of song. It is my aspiration to uncover this voice in others. So I shall sing on.

Undergraduate / 'France, Boston, and New York' - Michigan (community and your place within it) [NEW]

I am currently a freshman in college wanting to transfer to U of M. One of the two supplemental essays asks: "Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it." (Approximately 250 words) Any thoughts, comments, and suggestions are greatly appreciated!

My mom is from France, my dad is from Boston, I was born in New York City, and I have lived half of my life in the Midwest. I have been raised to the anthems of La Marseillaise, the Star Spangled Banner and my father's idol; Sergeant Pepper. In my upbringing, diversity is something that I have continuously absorbed and fed off of. The places I can call home are many, and the time I have spent in these places have created a colorful albulm of experiences through which I have formed my understanding of culture, human behavior, and my individual place within the world. Diversity has the ability to intellectualize, fuel the creative spirit, and awaken curiosity and drive. Most significantly in my life, it has inspired my involvement in human rights activism with Amnesty International. Still an active member, I founded and led a chapter while in High School. It has shaped my world view through the idea of Mohandas Gandhi that you must "be the change that you wish to see in the world." By bringing this mission of global outreach and awareness to a rural high school which in many ways is isolated from much of the world, I feel I have taken steps to becoming a global citizen. But what does this mean? It means to show interest and accountability for your human potential to become enriched by the cultures of others and to find something that you can do that has a universal purpose. In my case this has been fighting injustice. Currently, my 'community' is Indianapolis, however by working with Amnesty, I am a part of a global community. I have a role which matters to all people, be it in Indianapolis or and in a humid jungle 12 time zones away. Every night I go to bed with a smile on my face. Karma has been good to me.