msaisagee
Nov 23, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Cross country pushing forward' - UC Essay #2 - Colorguard [6]
Oh wow you tore it up! Thank you so much! :D
Oh wow you tore it up! Thank you so much! :D
msaisagee
Nov 23, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Cross country pushing forward' - UC Essay #2 - Colorguard [6]
thank you so much! but there's always room for improvement, right? hah a:)
thank you so much! but there's always room for improvement, right? hah a:)
msaisagee
Nov 22, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Cross country pushing forward' - UC Essay #2 - Colorguard [6]
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Again, a very rough draft... Any reviews are would be great! Thanks guys and have a Happy Thanksgiving :)
---
Many people participate in activities that keep them grounded. Cross country has athletes pushing forward, swim has their own cutting through water. When I joined colorguard my sophomore year, I was given the chance to cut through air. Colorguard utilizes flags, rifles and sabres as extensions of their own bodies to fly through the air and come crashing down. Before this activity, I led a sedentary life, and when I first started, my entire being was overwhelmed. It was difficult, and my body was not used to the pain that I was forcing it to take. Mentally, my mind couldn't keep up with the high demand of focus that my team members expected of me. However, spending 10 months of the year with the same group of people who have the same goals and interests as you do, makes you a part of something bigger than yourself. I began to change, and I was no longer working for myself, but for the greater good of the program.
Due to the fact that I wasn't the greatest spinner, I had to work harder than all of the other members on the team. I remember hot summer days, sweat literally dripping off my chin, trying to get a toss around the right way. My right hand was convulsing due to exhaustion, and I was cussing up a storm, because I just could not do it correctly. I wasn't competing with anyone but myself, and I was thinking of what would happen to the team if I did not fulfill my personal responsibilities. When I finally did toss that perfect triple, quad, five... it was like a breath of fresh air, the most liberating feeling in the world. "Pushing through" is something we're told constantly. At 5 in the morning, at 9 at night, it is easy to complain about not wanting to be there. However, it takes maturity to look past your fatigue and continue what you do, simply because you love doing it. Personally, I believe it was these moments that meant the most to my growth in this activity. In these sessions of near-breakdown, I learned the values of perseverance and determination.
I'm glad that I can look back on those times and smile at how weak I was before. Weak in my technique and skills for colorguard, and weak mentally, physically, and emotionally for life in general. I now know, that if I can get through a seven-minute show, a three hour rehearsal, or a twelve-hour competition day with a smile on my face, I can do the same with life.
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Again, a very rough draft... Any reviews are would be great! Thanks guys and have a Happy Thanksgiving :)
---
Many people participate in activities that keep them grounded. Cross country has athletes pushing forward, swim has their own cutting through water. When I joined colorguard my sophomore year, I was given the chance to cut through air. Colorguard utilizes flags, rifles and sabres as extensions of their own bodies to fly through the air and come crashing down. Before this activity, I led a sedentary life, and when I first started, my entire being was overwhelmed. It was difficult, and my body was not used to the pain that I was forcing it to take. Mentally, my mind couldn't keep up with the high demand of focus that my team members expected of me. However, spending 10 months of the year with the same group of people who have the same goals and interests as you do, makes you a part of something bigger than yourself. I began to change, and I was no longer working for myself, but for the greater good of the program.
Due to the fact that I wasn't the greatest spinner, I had to work harder than all of the other members on the team. I remember hot summer days, sweat literally dripping off my chin, trying to get a toss around the right way. My right hand was convulsing due to exhaustion, and I was cussing up a storm, because I just could not do it correctly. I wasn't competing with anyone but myself, and I was thinking of what would happen to the team if I did not fulfill my personal responsibilities. When I finally did toss that perfect triple, quad, five... it was like a breath of fresh air, the most liberating feeling in the world. "Pushing through" is something we're told constantly. At 5 in the morning, at 9 at night, it is easy to complain about not wanting to be there. However, it takes maturity to look past your fatigue and continue what you do, simply because you love doing it. Personally, I believe it was these moments that meant the most to my growth in this activity. In these sessions of near-breakdown, I learned the values of perseverance and determination.
I'm glad that I can look back on those times and smile at how weak I was before. Weak in my technique and skills for colorguard, and weak mentally, physically, and emotionally for life in general. I now know, that if I can get through a seven-minute show, a three hour rehearsal, or a twelve-hour competition day with a smile on my face, I can do the same with life.
msaisagee
Nov 21, 2012
Undergraduate / 'contempt for my parents' - UC Essay Prompt #1 [2]
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
The most rough draft you will ever read. Please tear it up and don't hold back! Thank you so much :)
--
City lights flash through my eyes as my dad drives faster and faster. The car swerves left, right as my mom tries to grab the wheel, willing herself to put our family at risk of an accident. I am seven years old and I am used to this, accustomed to my mom's shrill shrieks and my dad's raised hand. At seven years old, I have already learned how to block out this madness. Focusing on the twinkling lights of the city and the unsteady hum of the car's engine, I wished to be somewhere else.
Recalling this vivid memory brings me nothing but contempt for my parents. Their story is anything but romantic -- they met at work, dropping out of college to help pay for their family's finances, had a night of irresponsibility and were left with me. After I was born in the Philippines, they brought me to the United States in hopes of a "better life." This life they promised was anything but, for the jobs they had brought little money and they were constantly fighting and abusing each other. As I grew up, images of broken glass and slamming doors became ingrained into my memory. Our small family became like the shattered glass on the floor; broken and beyond repair.
It is safe to say that my age of innocence was short lived. I developed a sense of cynicism and pessimism at such an age where optimism and naivete should be. Despite the fact that I love my parents dearly, it is difficult to not be affected by what I have seen when I was younger. All of the destroyed pieces of furniture, spiting words, and bruises on my mother's arms were red flags to me, signifying that I needed to get out. Prompting myself to work harder and longer, I motivated myself all throughout my academic life to be the best that I can be. I refuse to be defined as the "mistake" of my parents; their mistakes are simply that, their own. From their lapses of judgement, I arise to be who I am today and who I will be tomorrow, following my own destiny. Constantly pushing to reach my goals, I aspire and will be the first child to graduate from a prestigious 4-year college. Looking back to the long nights where my parents would incessantly fight, I can only smile and say that I am on my way to that "somewhere else" that I wished to be so long ago.
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
The most rough draft you will ever read. Please tear it up and don't hold back! Thank you so much :)
--
City lights flash through my eyes as my dad drives faster and faster. The car swerves left, right as my mom tries to grab the wheel, willing herself to put our family at risk of an accident. I am seven years old and I am used to this, accustomed to my mom's shrill shrieks and my dad's raised hand. At seven years old, I have already learned how to block out this madness. Focusing on the twinkling lights of the city and the unsteady hum of the car's engine, I wished to be somewhere else.
Recalling this vivid memory brings me nothing but contempt for my parents. Their story is anything but romantic -- they met at work, dropping out of college to help pay for their family's finances, had a night of irresponsibility and were left with me. After I was born in the Philippines, they brought me to the United States in hopes of a "better life." This life they promised was anything but, for the jobs they had brought little money and they were constantly fighting and abusing each other. As I grew up, images of broken glass and slamming doors became ingrained into my memory. Our small family became like the shattered glass on the floor; broken and beyond repair.
It is safe to say that my age of innocence was short lived. I developed a sense of cynicism and pessimism at such an age where optimism and naivete should be. Despite the fact that I love my parents dearly, it is difficult to not be affected by what I have seen when I was younger. All of the destroyed pieces of furniture, spiting words, and bruises on my mother's arms were red flags to me, signifying that I needed to get out. Prompting myself to work harder and longer, I motivated myself all throughout my academic life to be the best that I can be. I refuse to be defined as the "mistake" of my parents; their mistakes are simply that, their own. From their lapses of judgement, I arise to be who I am today and who I will be tomorrow, following my own destiny. Constantly pushing to reach my goals, I aspire and will be the first child to graduate from a prestigious 4-year college. Looking back to the long nights where my parents would incessantly fight, I can only smile and say that I am on my way to that "somewhere else" that I wished to be so long ago.
