Undergraduate / 'College journey / Dream catcher / AFJROTC / Scholarship Action' -Syracuse University [3]

I graduated from Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs. Your answers here sound very general and do not inspire. If you are to catch their attention, you will need to highlight what you like about Maxwell School rather than Syracuse University. I am not sure which program you are applying for, but the more specific you are, the better your chances are. Reply to this message if you need further advice.

Student Talk / Writing originally. How to shatter the cliché writing style of an undergraduate scholar [7]

Original writing requires original thinking, which does not come easily. Skilled writers make writing so easy because they have spent many hours doing it. But good writing also comes from reading good writing, and perhaps poor one as well. If you keep reading, your writing will gradually improve.

Scholarship / My passion for learning English and other cultures! [3]

What is the connection between you attending the English Teacher Training Programme at Universidad CatĂłlica Silva HenrĂ­quez and teaching Spanish? Is Spanish your mother tongue? If so, how will the training at Universidad CatĂłlica Silva HenrĂ­quez be relevant to the Spanish teaching opportunity?

Also, definitely highlight the cultural aspect of language teaching and learning and how such exposure will enable you to improve your communication cross-culturally, which is key to the teaching of any language.

Undergraduate / 'experiences as an Administrative Coordinator' - MS Human Resource Managment Essay [5]

This essay is very general. If I were an admission officer, I would expect to learn more about the day to day responsibilities of this position and its challenges and how earning an MA will help you contribute to this organization or others in significant ways.

To make it convincing, you need to elaborate this sentence: [I worked in this position for six years and I have learned many valuable skills and developed my professionalism. I have cultivated stronger commitment, vision, leadership, motivation, optimism, independent-judgment, punctuality, listening, multi tasking, fairness and firmness, and good work ethics.]

This is more like a summary of your professional growth that should be provided by a referee rather than by yourself. ...

Also, you should have a good editor look at this essay before submitting it.

Writing Feedback / Keep working or study abroad - must make a decision essay [6]

If I were you, I would stay with my job and take courses with a local university. So much of free materials are available online now that it does not matter much where you are. If you wish to earn an MBA, you will do it. But in this economy, leaving your job guarantees nothing even with a US MBA. You can talk to people who have been in the US on Fulbright or other prestigious scholarships. They can share valuable information that will save you time. Good luck!