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Posts by cinderss
Joined: Dec 1, 2012
Last Post: Jan 7, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: North America

Displayed posts: 5
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cinderss   
Jan 7, 2013
Undergraduate / My father gave me strenght and confidence; My Biggest Influence [3]

this is my personal essay for college applications. i posted a similar one a month ago. so this has a little more. I am a HORRIBLE writer (you can tell after you read this!) but i need one more SHORT paragraph (3 sentences) about what my dad has helped me accomplish or how he has made me the person i am today...any suggestion? thank you :)

Throughout a child's life parents guide them in the right direction while being there every step of the way. From taking the first step to going off to college their parents will cherish their every move and every skill they will learn. For me, my childhood was a little out of the ordinary.

At a young age I did not have a mother figure in my life, she unexpectedly walked out leaving my military dad with two young girls, it was then up to him to take on both roles as mother and father. My father made the biggest impact during my childhood, he was there to guide me to success which left a positive influence on me. Unlike any other parent, my father took on double amounts of work and was still able to provide his daughters with care. He has always told me that no matter how hard your day may seem it will always get better if you think positive, and from that I have learned to always keep my head up and try my hardest at everything I do. My dad would stay up all night just to help me with school work, he would do the silliest thing to make me laugh

*NEED ANOTHER SHORT PARAGRAPH HERE*
My father has given me a sense of strength and a huge amount of self confidence. He has sacrificed so much for me and has shaped me into the woman I am today. Words cannot express the things my father has done for me. Not only is he a father he is a hero, my hero.

also should i include a title?
cinderss   
Dec 1, 2012
Undergraduate / My Father, My Hero - Personal Essay [7]

doing my personal essay on the person who has influenced me the most. its NOT FINISHED AT ALL! this is what i'm starting with. I just need feedback to know if i'm going in the right direction. No paragraph is complete, and i hope to have four+ paragraphs. PLEASE let me know what i could do to improve because i am a horrible writer. thank you

My Father, My Hero

Throughout a child's life their parents guide them into the right direction while being there every step of the way. My father made the biggest impact during my childhood, he was there to guide me to success which left a positive influence on me. At a young age I did not have a mother figure in my life, she unexpectedly walked out leaving my military dad with two young girls and it was up to him to take on the roles of a mother and father.

Unlike my mother, my father took on double amounts of work but he was still there to steer me in the right direction. He has always told me that no matter how hard your day may seem it will always get better if you think positive.

My dad would stay up all night just to help me with school work, when I couldn't understand he wouldn't let me give up. I would try and try and continuously fail because I wouldn't set my mind to something.

(last paragraph)
Words cannot express the things my father has done for me. Not only is he a father he is a hero, my hero.
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