Writing Feedback / Why the divorce rate is so high in North America? [3]

Why the divorce rate is so high in North America?

Could someone check my essay if there any errors need to be fixed.

There is no doubt that the divorce rate these days became very high in many countries especially in North America. In Canada the divorce rate was [b]"In 2008, there were 70,226 divorces in Canada or 2.11 divorces per 1,000 people". (Canada Statistic, 2011, para 1). Whereas in the United State, "The 2010 rate is 3.6 divorces per 1000 population: i.e., 0.72% of the population got divorced that year". (Divorce Statistics and Studies Blog, (2012), para 2). The causes might be little bit different from country to another but the results are the same. It is very bitter and unlovely experience for many couples in this generation. They'd have hard time to forget the beautiful time which they spent together. It takes really long time to truly get over the trauma and confusion about love, life and relationship they had. They think while having conflict and disagreement that the only solution for their problems is to breakup. In fact, they will consequently face many other disadvantages that they haven't planned for. A few of who've been told they're better off without their spouse don't feel better at all. Their life partner and their valued status "wife," "husband," "married" are gone, replaced by sense of failure, the still-lingering stigma of divorce and fear of a future stripped of the dreams marriage and family promised. Konrad Sandra,( 2008) pg. 33.

Indeed, divorce does not only affect the social position of the pair but also the children. Breaking up might be a solution for some cases but wrong decision for many others. So, there are many causes for dissolution; however, we'd try in this research to focus on two of them such as lack of communication and failed expectation.

First of all, there are some problems that could be easily resolved by conversation. The more the pairs speak about the smaller issues immediately before it accumulate and become bigger the much healthier relationship they will have. In order to keep the family from destruction, especially in North America where everyone is so busy, it should be, for instance, set up a time for a family meeting where both freely and openly talk about any misunderstanding. As a result, this will lead to avoid any future conflict and in the same time enhance the connection within the family and it becomes part of their habit. Lack of communication mostly occurs when one or maybe both feel that he or she is not understood well. Most of our communication with one another in any friendship or relationship isn't what we say, but how we say it. Nonverbal communication is your body language, the tone of your voice, its inflection, eye contact, and how far away you are when you talk to someone else. Learning to communicate better means that you need to learn how to read these signals as well as hear what the other person is saying. Reading your partner's nonverbal signals takes time and patience, but the more you do it, the more attuned you will be to what they're really saying. Dr. John Grohol (2009) para.10.

In fact, the pairs should take some training for better communicating before they get married. On that way, they will be well prepared for their responsibilities for the new life.

In addition, we are sometimes at certain point disappointed. Apparently, this disappointment could be because we couldn't achieve our goals or didn't suppose to fail at certain plan. That is when we judging ourselves about our lack of success. So, many people who marry nowadays have some expectation and some imagination about the future "wife "and "husband". The wife, for example, thinks that her husband will write a love poem and will slip it under her pillow every night and whenever she weirs a nice clothe, he will compliment her. The man, on the other hand, has also false expectation in his mind. He thinks whenever he comes home his wife will be ready to take his jacket off and welcome him with a warm kiss. These are some expectation that most people had dreamed about before he or she gets married. When these expectations fulfilled that makes people happy if not that will be another reason for divorce. We think that our partner can meet all our needs, know what we're thinking, and love us even when we're not terribly lovable. When those things don't happen, then we blame our partner," Laner says. "We think that maybe if we had a different spouse, it would be better. Blanv, Tara (2012) para 5.

So, failed expectation is another problem for many pairs that ended up with an official separation and of course makes the rate of divorce higher.

Finally, as is mention above the pair should be aware of these major causes because as longer as they understand these issues it will be simple and easily for them to stay away from and to cure it. Furthermore, their family should be in the first place and give their relationship higher priority. On top of that, they should educate their selves read about the causes of divorce like lack of conversation and failed expectation. They shouldn't have any wrong calculation about building a family before and after the marriage. If they do that they will for sure live in happiness and in pleasure. They will have different perspective from marriage and their children will grow up in healthy environment and have better life. In addition, they will be successful in their education and have good career. Everybody will benefit the parents, the children and also the community.