anhphanh
Jan 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / We need to give respect to our traditions and prevent to going the wrong way [4]
Hi nono824, your essay has some good points like such as historical evidences or examples. However, you made many mistakes about spelling, plural and single nouns, grammar. Besides, the way you expressed your ideas is not really good. For example, in the introduction, you should say that :"Nowadays, technology plays an important role in our life. It is obvious that we use it everywhere .... In my opinion, I entirely disagree with this idea for the following reasons". Some structures like this will help to improve your essay.
Hope you 'll achieve success soon! :)
Hi nono824, your essay has some good points like such as historical evidences or examples. However, you made many mistakes about spelling, plural and single nouns, grammar. Besides, the way you expressed your ideas is not really good. For example, in the introduction, you should say that :"Nowadays, technology plays an important role in our life. It is obvious that we use it everywhere .... In my opinion, I entirely disagree with this idea for the following reasons". Some structures like this will help to improve your essay.
Hope you 'll achieve success soon! :)