AyeshaRaees
Dec 8, 2012
Undergraduate / An Achievement/Risk and how you learned from it; CommonApp Essay [3]
Hello guys. I want feedback on my commonapp essay as I wish to be done with it soon.
Thank you.
My instincts and impulsive attributes add majorly to who I am as a person today. Where people choose to think rationally about careers and professions, I choose to think from my heart rather than my mind. Being the youngest in the middle-class family of four, all working relentlessly as either doctors or engineers, I grew up thinking that those two were the only professions in the world.
In the influence of my family and my science-oriented school environment, I succeeded academically, winning science-fairs and accepting all stereotypical career options. Though, even as a child, my hands were always stained with ink and I shouldered large registers of my scribbles. When girls my age talked about clothes and make-up, I used my time writing. There was always a register open in my lap during lessons, in hope of getting a word in when the teacher wasn't looking. Either it was the nib on paper or the fingers on keys; I was filled with happiness, of purpose, of determination, and these aspects evolved into passion, into who I am as today; a hardworking individual with defining principles, thoughts and dreams.
Wishful thinking as a child of what I wanted to be was always present but quickly mocked and undermined by my parents. The first mention of pursuing arts and humanities came up when I was choosing my O'levels. I was discouraged by my parents and my teachers, saying I could do 'better'. That very same year, coincidentally or not, my school demolished the arts wing altogether; it was either science or business. Ironically I was the first to hand in my subject choices and probably the first one to do it without any discussion.
The reality hit me hard with time. I realized my mind was there but not my heart and I avoided those subjects like a plague. The artist inside of me found its way again, through the pen into the camera and by the time I finished O'levels and entered A'levels, I wanted nothing in my life than to become a filmmaker.
My biggest achievement is connected to the biggest risk I took; breaking-through. My changing subjects in my first year symbolized the battle I fought with myself and my parents. I was grounded for two weeks when I dropped Chemistry and Biology and, for months that followed, undermined severely. Yet I did not give up and now, as I apply to universities, I apply for nothing but to pursue the artist within me. I grew up to be a strong person if not anything, making my own decisions and carrying out my word till the end. Instead of following someone else's footsteps, I created my own. Instead of playing safe, I took a risk; I listened to my heart instead of my mind, followed my dream instead of cultural reason and broke-through.
T.S Elliot summarizes my past, future and self, in a few simple words:
"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go"
And so will I bravely step in and see.
It's 513 words. Is that alright or it has to be 500 exact?
Thank you.
Hello guys. I want feedback on my commonapp essay as I wish to be done with it soon.
Thank you.
My instincts and impulsive attributes add majorly to who I am as a person today. Where people choose to think rationally about careers and professions, I choose to think from my heart rather than my mind. Being the youngest in the middle-class family of four, all working relentlessly as either doctors or engineers, I grew up thinking that those two were the only professions in the world.
In the influence of my family and my science-oriented school environment, I succeeded academically, winning science-fairs and accepting all stereotypical career options. Though, even as a child, my hands were always stained with ink and I shouldered large registers of my scribbles. When girls my age talked about clothes and make-up, I used my time writing. There was always a register open in my lap during lessons, in hope of getting a word in when the teacher wasn't looking. Either it was the nib on paper or the fingers on keys; I was filled with happiness, of purpose, of determination, and these aspects evolved into passion, into who I am as today; a hardworking individual with defining principles, thoughts and dreams.
Wishful thinking as a child of what I wanted to be was always present but quickly mocked and undermined by my parents. The first mention of pursuing arts and humanities came up when I was choosing my O'levels. I was discouraged by my parents and my teachers, saying I could do 'better'. That very same year, coincidentally or not, my school demolished the arts wing altogether; it was either science or business. Ironically I was the first to hand in my subject choices and probably the first one to do it without any discussion.
The reality hit me hard with time. I realized my mind was there but not my heart and I avoided those subjects like a plague. The artist inside of me found its way again, through the pen into the camera and by the time I finished O'levels and entered A'levels, I wanted nothing in my life than to become a filmmaker.
My biggest achievement is connected to the biggest risk I took; breaking-through. My changing subjects in my first year symbolized the battle I fought with myself and my parents. I was grounded for two weeks when I dropped Chemistry and Biology and, for months that followed, undermined severely. Yet I did not give up and now, as I apply to universities, I apply for nothing but to pursue the artist within me. I grew up to be a strong person if not anything, making my own decisions and carrying out my word till the end. Instead of following someone else's footsteps, I created my own. Instead of playing safe, I took a risk; I listened to my heart instead of my mind, followed my dream instead of cultural reason and broke-through.
T.S Elliot summarizes my past, future and self, in a few simple words:
"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go"
And so will I bravely step in and see.
It's 513 words. Is that alright or it has to be 500 exact?
Thank you.
