Writing Feedback / IELTS - What is the best age for Children attending school? depends on the country [8]

Topic: Some People believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from you own knowledge or experience.

What ages are the best for children attending school? Everyone may have their own opinions. Now I am going to discuss the major points: young age is better or not?

Some people think children should not go to school until they are old enough. These people believe six or seven years old is the best age attending school. Children should play with their parents and learn some basic skills prior to going to school. For example, they may learn their native languages so that they can convey themselves exactly. Once they get this level of communication skill, they can study the school courses including math and science better, otherwise the children may felt schooling is difficult to them, and they may not like study at the beginning. This is true in China that children are allowed to go to school only when they are above six years old in some regions.

However, other people believe a young age is better than old. This is case for people in Australia, where allows children attending school starting from five. The Australian parents think studying in school earlier is more important. There are couple of reasons for this. Firstly, the parents are very busy with their work and have little time to educate their children, so they want schools' help in taking care of the education for them. Secondly, they want their children to learn English as earlier as possible. Australia is an immigration country, that means lots of children are not born in Australia and their parents speak non English as their first languages. Their English language levels are not fluent as their native languages. The primary school is the best place to learn the English.

So the advantages are obvious to young aged children. They can learn foreign languages as soon as possible. they can obtain the needed skills such as communication at their earlier ages, which are not possibly given by their parents. Another benefit is they can learn culture of other countries from other children when they are young.

It depends on the countries that you are living in, you will get differing benefits which are good for young aged children.

Please give me a score for my writing exercise in an IELTS(G) writing task2, and what changes do you recommend to get score 6?