omarnasri
Dec 19, 2012
Undergraduate / My army stint as a specialist; SMU Admission/ Achievement Essay [2]
Describe the highlights of your most important achievements or contributions. If you have any outstanding talent (e.g. national sportsman, run a successful business, outstanding community service), please include them as well.
(Max 300 words)
goodday guys! would really appreciate any help/criticism/advice on my short essay for university admission !
//start
To me, the most important achievement will be my army stint as a specialist. Passing out from command school and having been a councillor in college led me to naively believe that command and leadership would be child's play.
This imprudent thought vanquished the day I was posted to a unit with thirty men under me. They came from different backgrounds; some with basic qualifications and some were from top colleges. I was faced with a difficulty right from the start. How do I communicate effectively with everyone? And then, there were some who were significantly older than me. What kind of command approach should I take? Do I assert my authority? All these questions were not taught to me back at command school nor in leadership workshops in college.
I was overwhelmed.
Even though I have assumed the role of a "leader" during my training days, I was then, leading groups of cadets who were motivated. Taking on the role of a leader for a group of uninterested and demotivated soldiers, I soon realised that beside my main duties, there was much to be done.
Through multifarious engagement approaches at individual and group level, I started to gain a foothold in my role. My commitment to inspire my men paid off when I started noticing how most were motivated to perform their duties. While I was able to affirm my role, it was not always smooth sailing. There were occasions where I had to come down with hard decisions which affected morale. In the bout, I started to learn how to balance between tough decision makings and welfare, and to be a leader able to influence without authority.
The invaluable life skills and experience garnered during my tour, I feel, is a lifetime achievement.
//Current word count is 295/300
Describe the highlights of your most important achievements or contributions. If you have any outstanding talent (e.g. national sportsman, run a successful business, outstanding community service), please include them as well.
(Max 300 words)
goodday guys! would really appreciate any help/criticism/advice on my short essay for university admission !
//start
To me, the most important achievement will be my army stint as a specialist. Passing out from command school and having been a councillor in college led me to naively believe that command and leadership would be child's play.
This imprudent thought vanquished the day I was posted to a unit with thirty men under me. They came from different backgrounds; some with basic qualifications and some were from top colleges. I was faced with a difficulty right from the start. How do I communicate effectively with everyone? And then, there were some who were significantly older than me. What kind of command approach should I take? Do I assert my authority? All these questions were not taught to me back at command school nor in leadership workshops in college.
I was overwhelmed.
Even though I have assumed the role of a "leader" during my training days, I was then, leading groups of cadets who were motivated. Taking on the role of a leader for a group of uninterested and demotivated soldiers, I soon realised that beside my main duties, there was much to be done.
Through multifarious engagement approaches at individual and group level, I started to gain a foothold in my role. My commitment to inspire my men paid off when I started noticing how most were motivated to perform their duties. While I was able to affirm my role, it was not always smooth sailing. There were occasions where I had to come down with hard decisions which affected morale. In the bout, I started to learn how to balance between tough decision makings and welfare, and to be a leader able to influence without authority.
The invaluable life skills and experience garnered during my tour, I feel, is a lifetime achievement.
//Current word count is 295/300
