Undergraduate / My best friend passed away when I was 17- STANFORD exchange program [3]

When I was 17 years old, my best friend and guiding light passed away. The car accident that unexpectedly took my father devastated my family. Even though I missed him terribly and wished he could return, I could not break the laws of life and death. His death also thrust me into a new role; I became the head of my family. When mom was swamped with grief, I took care of everyone in the family at a young age.

Suddenly dad's lecture that once sounded nagging and monotonous became very important. They were his final gift to me, and offering that could keep guiding me through life. Even now his speeches still repeat in my head. "Haste makes waste", he would say to me. "Never put off tomorrow what can be done today" "God help those who help themselves". Those are daddy's originals.

These words that some people write off as a mere clichĂŠs, shaped my father's life, and to my eyes he was perfect. In all those years I can hardly remember him doing something wrong. After his death I discovered that he was the role model that I needed but hadn't fully appreciated. Not until I'm older, I came to realized that he was the person that loved and understood me most. We only became very close a few years before parted.

The loss of my father has changed me. I could no longer talk to him, but I can call out to him through my actions hoping he will see. So I call out to him by helping others and trying my best to be a better person. I like to think he sees my actions, born of knowing what he would have done. By making myself and others happy I keep my daddy with me.

His death also gave me more motivation to become the appreciative, confident, successful and independent person that he was. In particular, my desire to become like him motivated me to start a business for fashion jewelry in college. I failed the first and the second time because I didn't understand the market. But I imagined if dad had been there he would have said "when there's a will there's a way" So I learned from my mistakes, kept working, and on the third attempt I eventually earned over 15000 dollars within 6 months. For a 22 year old full time college student, it felt like a million dollars.

In reaching out to other people, the loss of my father has led me closer to my world. It has shaped me into the confident and persistent woman I am today. His death was a tragedy, but it made me see how lucky I am to be this man's daughter. I often think about the day we will finally meet and things I would say to him. I wills surely tell him "See dad?, the apple didn't fall far away from the tree!"

Thank you in advance