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Posts by jokofatalis
Joined: Dec 29, 2012
Last Post: Dec 29, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  


Displayed posts: 4
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jokofatalis   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / From a shy freshman to an extroverted & curious person; Significant Experience [3]

Also, you can also use a specific event that occurred on the bus that had significance to you and make the essay even more specific. Also, it helps to be concise with common application essays. Another words, try to find specific words to replaces phrases and make the essay easier to follow. obliterate sentences describing procedure or useless details about why you did something. One advice my essay editor gave me was ALWAYS SHOW RATHER THAN TELL. You do a decent job of that but the essay would be stronger if you could have a better focus and narrow the essay down a bit. hope my advice helped. as far as conciseness goes, figure that out after you've focused your essay more. Best of luck to your applications.
jokofatalis   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / I am an inquisitive person; Cornell sup/ Your intellectual interests, their evolution [3]

First I must say, I LOVE how you make it personal and that is what sets your essay from essays of similar subject. HOWEVER, the internet part seems to digress a little bit. you mention alot about your interests but not specific enough about how you will take advantage of Cornell's research opportunities. In what ways will the college of arts and science give you the best understanding? Which specific programs are you interested in? how do you plan on using these programs? what do you want to obtain from these programs? I hope my advice helped a little bit. best of luck to your college applications and happy early new year.
jokofatalis   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / Every student and alumni love Rice; Rice Supplement- Why Rice? [8]

What is the word limit? you may feel comfortable at rice, but why? how does Rice makes you feel what you feel? Also write a bit about what you plan to obtain from Rice. I do see you say you like many programs offered at Rice but you only go so far to say "you like". Why do you like them? Why do you find that the location int he middle of the city is important? is it due to environment? resources? However, I do like the way you personalize the essay, and I love the tone of this essay too. Hopefully my information helped and best wishes to your college application.
jokofatalis   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / Art is both a great enjoyment & a powerful catalyst of change; SAIC/ More about me [3]

Art is both enjoyment & a powerful catalyst of change/ SAIC art institute of Chicago

CRITIQUE THE HELL OUT OF IT>
We are interested in finding out more about you, why you do what you do, and why you are a strong candidate for SAIC's undergraduate program. Please also include information about community service projects, exhibitions you have participated in, or any other activities that contribute to the making of your work.

Hey guys this is my art institute artist statement. prompt as stated above. Critique the hell out of it! dont hold back. what ever you have to say , say it. I wont feel offended just please be objective about this.

As a boy, I enjoyed art. As a teenager, I was a visionary. As a youth, art is both a great enjoyment and a powerful catalyst of change. Throughout my life so far, there have been many influences on my art work and me as a person, In the future, I hope to impact others with my art as much as others have done for me.

"It never hurts to have seven bottles of each color." My art teacher used to say, "Nor seven of each type of tool." Though a hyperbole, his words were of great importance to me and help shape me as a well rounded artist. Subjects in biology and psychology were great inspirations for my art work. The ephemeral cycle of life, death and rebirth, and the millennia old cycle of landscape and nature have never cease to amaze me. The great juxtaposition within and between these two great cycles often kept me awake at night, reflecting, thinking. The way life and death can choose to exist in harmony and discord, the methods nature uses to create, renew, and destroy itself, are in themselves a unique and unparalleled beauty. Though small, insignificant and fragile, humanity too is bound by the nature and its governing forces. In our efforts to fight against these forces and wipe out nature, we give up the chance to accept the gifts nature bears us. Through classes in biology, I have come to appreciate the dwindling existence of nature and the value the precious and fragile spark of life.

Warriors of the past and present have had equal, if not even greater impact on my art work, my values, and me as a person. In the wake of my fascination with China, I read the Chinese epic, The Water Margin, which narrated the rise and fall of 108 warriors who fought against corruption, lack of morality and poverty during the Song Dynasty. These men and women inspired me greatly with their dauntless bravery and selfless loyalty. However, I could not understand why some characters were so zealous to adhere to these traits even when their life and family are at risk. What could be more precious than life? This question sent me spinning into deep thought about loyalty, conscience and sacrifice in relation to love and life. These questions and thoughts were jumbled as I entered my high school art history class. Throughout the class, I was introduced to work celebrating the legends of hundreds of warriors and among them was Jacques David's Oath of the Horatii. My eyes were wide with amazement at not only the neoclassical master's skill but also the emotional charge emanating from the dramatic moment. I could feel their pain of sacrifice but also the unhesitant loyalty to Rome as the brothers extended their arms to vow their allegiance to the swords and the empire. Suddenly, the conundrum had been unraveled: The safety of the community and the lives of others will always outweigh the importance of my own life and desires. I am still shocked by the power of Oath of the Horatii because centuries after its making, it is still able to have such a great impact on viewers like me. In a world where greed, fame and power have run rampant, my revelation has inspired me to reveal these values within the characters of my art work, and change the viewer much like David's painting did to me.

In history and fantasy, the most ferocious warriors were not only heavily armed and learned in the art of war, but also versatile in many different skills. I, too, seek to be versatile in various mediums of art. At SAIC, where students are able to experience many art forms without the need of majors, my multifaceted curiosity can thrive and expand. As an SAIC student, I will have access to the world-renowned Art Institute of Chicago and the field museum of Chicago, which are full of resources to facilitate my studies in art. The unique location and amiability of the community of SAIC are the perfect mix that will cultivate my success. At SAIC, I found a community in which any student can bounce ideas off each other and always expect great ideas and encouragement in return. Through the versatile and prestigious curriculum at SAIC, I am able to be a well rounded artist in traditional and modern methods and mediums. Its world-renowned curriculum, vast domain of resources and dynamic and quirky student body has made me craving to attend SAIC.
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