Undergraduate / "Silence," said the co-ordinator ; Common app- Challenge essay [3]

I need to shoten this essay. Its about 640 words. Only a maximum of 500 words are allowed. Any critiques are appriciated. Its URGENT.

"Silence," said the co-ordinator knocking the door. Within no time principal entered class to make an announcement for a week's holiday. "Inform your parents to attend parent-teachers association and to pick you up for this vacation tomorrow," looking at his watch, he said "Classes for today are cancelled, and you may now leave to your dorms. Happy holidays! "

As soon as the bell rang for the lunch break, I immediately rushed to phone booth to call my mom. "Mom," I said excitedly over the phone, "we've got one week holidays in our hostel and I need you here to pick me up and attend parent teachers meeting tomorrow". "Sorry Sunny, I can't come as I am in city hospital now," said my mom in a grim tone of voice. "What!? What happened and what are you doing there?" I asked, the anxiety faded my joy away. "It's dad. He has had an attack of brain haemorrhage; I actually thought of calling you and your uncle here, because I need to get to work to pay for the medical and insurance covers," said my mom and the call was cut. I was left without enough coins to continue the call. I prayed principal's office, took permission and rushed as fast as I could to see my father at city hospital. After checking out with reception regarding the whereabouts of my dad, my heart was thumping as I climbed hospital stairs and my mind was madly spinning theories of what could have happened. Finally, I saw my dearest father amid those white sheets, on a bed, with all wires on him and weird instruments around.

Days passed in a blur from then on, and my mom was busy working overtime as we were going through a tough phase financially. I stayed in hospital, beside my dad, taking care of him. Days passed with wild speed and before I realised it, it was about one and a half month that I left my college, beginning on a holiday that lasted for a week. It would take 10-15 days before my dad could be left for himself. I was going on through a series of notices from my college and there were very important courses going on in the college. After two months, I was finally able to leave my dad for my mom and went to attend college.

I went to school; classes were running with .... speed. First time math looked to be a monster. When I left school, we were about to start Integral Calculus but then they were about to complete differential equations. As soon as the lecturer left stage after writing a question on magnetism, the whole class were the shouting answer. All the classes then, appeared to be in Greek and Latin. Within no time a notice worried me a lot. Notice carried information about state wide tests that were about to start in 15 days, which would earn a tuition fee waiver. I spent hours to get on with calculus. I was half the way through calculus; rest of the syllabus in physics and chemistry worried me. No matter, I completed it. I organised my time to conclude the exam syllabus. Luckily, there was less syllabus to finish in chemistry. I stopped attending revision classes and taught them by myself. Some of my friends helped me to understand the confusing portions. I spent restless nights to practice problems in math and physics. Teachers helped me most of the time to understand difficult concepts. Eventually, it was the exam day, which we all awaited for. Silence went all along the corridors of school that day. I was anxious about the results which are to be announced in the following day. To my surprise I was in top 5 in my school and in top 20 in state, thereby qualifying for tuition fee waiver.

Undergraduate / Archery develops me both morally and spiritually; Common app - Extra curriculars [3]

It was the last distance (30 m) to end tournament, the energy in me is fully drained. I stood 1st in the previous distances, but now I scored low in the first two rounds. String struck my arm repeatedly, my bow hand shivered and I missed an arrow. I feared of losing tournament. Each arrow the others shot stooped my confidence. I forgot the joy of shooting and put myself into a race. When I joined the archery club, I never hoped to play tournaments. I just came to learn how to shoot with my entire focussed mind. This time I felt uneasy while shooting arrows. With empty mind, I held my breath while drawing the bow, to feel the compression and relaxation of each muscle. My bow became a part of my body. I started to enjoy and feel the sound of each shot (Zupp!). From then, I competed with myself. I started improving my errors that I made before. I shot silver medal in that tournament.

Archery develops me both morally and spiritually. I find my inner self while shooting arrows with empty and focussed mind. To me archery served me more than a pastime; it gives me pleasure of being.

Undergraduate / A movie with hero & villain are friends; U Chicago essay- Oscar wild [2]

"A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies." -Oscar Wilde.
Othello and Iago. Dorothy and the Wicked Witch. the Autobots and the Decepticons. History and art are full of heroes and their enemies.
Tell us about the relationship between you and your arch-nemesis (either real or imagined).
Inspired by Martin Krzywy, admitted student Class of 2016.

When i was a kid, i often wondered at how a movie would be if the hero and the villain in it were friends instead of enemies. There would be nothing for both of them to do and in fact, no movie at all!

As i grew up with this question, and i began to realise and also read about the human drive for action, the necessity to go out there and prove things to people. If we lived in a world where there is nothing like enmity, then the need for standing out, proving stuff to people would be most unnecessary and thus would be the need for drastic actions that sometimes flip things about. Simply put, the human desire for supremacy over something or someone is what drives most people to act, Which means that there is a necessity for enemies in one's life if he is to do something big. Atleast most of all those who have done something big, have done so out of this drive for supremacy over someone or something.

In my case, although i have no such thing as an arch nemesis, there was one such person in my school who often i had to compete with and who in fact, as i realised later on, was the drive for most of my actions in which i stood out in the school. And more interestingly, we got along pretty well when we had to at times, and our so termed enmity came out in all its fierceness when we had to work or do something. This way, we had actually helped each other compete better and better by setting new standards to beat and new challenges for each other's egos. And then, as we had to part after high school, we realised that we had become an integral part of each other's life, as the saying goes, that enemies are actually a greater part of our lives than friends, it was true in our case. We still have this competitiveness in both our work and that actually keeps us going ahead of our usual competition and setting standards for our self.

This instance of enmity or so supposed, turned out to be a very constructive one but there were instances when we would actually take on a path of killing ourselves on the way to eliminate enemies. I don't think enemies are to be eliminated or that anyone would actually want to. They complement us in our lives. But there is a certain way of handling it - without jealousies or other negative things that actually damage us, there is a positive and more constructive way of dealing with it as has happened to me with my arch-nemesis.

Sugessions are appreciated.