lolcollege45
Jan 7, 2013
Undergraduate / Football/Asian/High School experience; Georgia Tech- Roommate letter [4]
replace first bit with this. never say "then it hit me". come on, really?
It's a Sunday, I get home from our first outdoor workout for football and I think about how my senior year on the football team will turn out. Will it be the same as it always has been? Will the coaches talk nonstop about how excited they about hitting season, will it be the same? Will all-stars try to fight each other about how to lead the team, and talk with whoever is within earshot about how a freshman can't catch a ball and doesn't even have cleats on, as they always have?
I suddenly realized that I once wasn't so different from these freshmen that were always been made fun of. When I went to practice that day and saw all the incoming freshman, I thought of myself during my freshman year, coming to the first practice with the appearance of no athletic skills what-so-ever, Asian, short, clueless. I saw myself when I saw all the incoming freshman today, nervous, questioning what the coach was really even yelling about. My footprints were being followed.
That's all I have time for, but this needs some grammatical adjustments throughout. Try working on it with an English teacher. Otherwise it's a solid essay, you just need to clean it up a bit.
replace first bit with this. never say "then it hit me". come on, really?
It's a Sunday, I get home from our first outdoor workout for football and I think about how my senior year on the football team will turn out. Will it be the same as it always has been? Will the coaches talk nonstop about how excited they about hitting season, will it be the same? Will all-stars try to fight each other about how to lead the team, and talk with whoever is within earshot about how a freshman can't catch a ball and doesn't even have cleats on, as they always have?
I suddenly realized that I once wasn't so different from these freshmen that were always been made fun of. When I went to practice that day and saw all the incoming freshman, I thought of myself during my freshman year, coming to the first practice with the appearance of no athletic skills what-so-ever, Asian, short, clueless. I saw myself when I saw all the incoming freshman today, nervous, questioning what the coach was really even yelling about. My footprints were being followed.
That's all I have time for, but this needs some grammatical adjustments throughout. Try working on it with an English teacher. Otherwise it's a solid essay, you just need to clean it up a bit.