Posts by lynnet

lynnet

Mar 3, 2013

Scholarship / Telling my own stories- SCHOLARSHIP - Project/Impact/Integrating experience/Groups [3]

Here are some of my suggestions.

My goal has always been to get students and younger kids involved so they don't settle for other not so healthy activities and unsafe environment. ~~Throughout my years, I believe to have been a positive role model to those students.~~

During those years, I have been working on getting them involved in sports and school because I wanted to make a positive impact on them and keep them away from bad influences. [I'm unsure what you're trying to tell here. Is it getting them involved in sports or school?]

In college, I was compelled to do the same thing as well, to be a great role model for others. I have been involved with the college campus in such a way that I've become a resource to everyone especially to the different ethnicity students. When I was a Collegiate Fellow, it was made clear that part of my responsibility was to help my residents in every way possible. That, I found was pretty simple because I believe I have always been passionate about helping others. In doing so, I would hope to give back by inspiring others to take this life changing opportunity to study abroad. Two ways I plan to do this is by first, sharing my story with XXX Marketing and Communication department and second, is word of mouth.

My passion for helping other also grew more as I continued my education in college. I have actively involved with the college campus as a Collegiate Fellow. You should go into a bit details of how you involve with your college campus. The last two sentences aren't quite clear especially you're jumping from talking about being a Collegiate Fellow and then suddenly going straight to studying abroad.

You should reorganize your ideas and thoughts again because it's quite confusing here.

lynnet

Feb 28, 2013

Scholarship / Growing up I've made a lot of mistakes; Why I deserve this Scholarship [3]

I can see your point in this essay, however, you should change it by adding more details in it. Everyone works hard to receive an acceptance, so you need to show them how you are different from others.

Good luck!

lynnet

Feb 24, 2013

Scholarship / "You can do it"-Adversity ; Why should I deserve this scholarship? [2]

"You can do it" was a rhythm in my head as I got closer to the end of my race at a swim meet. A cheer broke out when I touched the block not only because I won first place, but it was also because I was the only girl in a male race due of the lack of female swimmers for my event. When the referee blew his whistle, the stress and intimidation of competing against all the boys were gone because in those forty seconds, all I knew was doing my best to pay off for all the rigorous training every day. This small victory motivated me to believe in myself and keep going in life despite challenges. I recalled countless times telling myself not to quit when I was exhausted from balancing school, work, and extracurricular activities simply because these were what I loved doing. My father is the only supporter for our family; his income is only enough for the basic necessities. I work during school to help him financially and save money for university because a university degree is unaffordable for my family. I still excel academically and also lead the robotics team. Additionally, I am an ambassador for the Playing for Keeps to promote an active and healthy lifestyle in the community. I dream of being an engineer to improve people's lives by designing systems that make it easier to access education and healthcare for everyone even in third world countries. Struggles with finances increase when my brother is also going to university next year. This scholarship can help me continue my passion for engineering and reduce the financial burden. I also can participate more in volunteer work and initiative to give back to my community, my country and to change it for the better.

lynnet

Feb 20, 2013

Essays / "Happiness"; Exemplification Essay - Writing intrdouction [5]

You can start off your essay by talking about when you are happy or what you do that makes you feel happy. For example, I love swimming and I talk about how it makes me feel happy by just simply being in the water. Or you start off with a bit general with your own definition of happiness perhaps and then follow up with specific examples.

lynnet

Feb 3, 2013

Scholarship / A passion for Computer Science - scholarship - Why choose Computer Science? [2]

Why do you choose Computer science? What has brought you to the field? What do you hope to achieve with a computer science degree?

Computer science is challenging, and yet dynamic. It requires people in the field to be keep learning and pushing the limit. That fast-pacing innovation of technology never stops amazing me, which excites my innate curiosity even more. I, however, had never thought about pursuing computer science as a career until I took an introductory class in my junior year. It sparked my interest and changed my thoughts after seeing what I could do with some simple line of codes. Despite of many countless times sitting in front of the computer screen trying out figure how to do solve a problem, those "Aha" moments were more precious and exciting for me. For every minute like that, I was exhilarating and smiled as if I have just won an Olympics' gold medal in a 100-meter racing swim lap. It fed my hunger for exploration to see what else I could do, may be something beyond my imagination. Computer science gradually became my hobby in my senior year. I searched many online resources to finally find Codeacademy and later Udacity. I first learned about HTML and CSS on CodeAcademy to make some simple websites, but I was not satisfied with it. Meanwhile, I found out about Udacity, offered a well-written and easy-to-follow introductory course in Python to make my own Google search. These experiences slowly pull me into the course of a new career, computer science. Pursuing a degree in this field can provide me knowledge and skills and along with my passion to bring changes to people's daily lives starting from mobile application. I want to be a part of this evolution of technology.