tieuthanhlong
Mar 5, 2013
Writing Feedback / technology raise awareness; Young people are more aware of issues.. [4]
thanks you so much!:)
thanks you so much!:)
tieuthanhlong
Mar 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / technology raise awareness; Young people are more aware of issues.. [4]
I am preparing to ielts test. This is my essay.
Can you make errors and mark this essay ?
Thanks you so much!
Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. What is your own opinion?
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Now aday, the world has a lot of problems such as polluted environment, poverty, animals' extinction what never have been seen before. Young people are much more aware of and concerned about the consequences of such issues than previous generations. In my opinion, I agree with that idea.
The first reason, globalization trend provides information and knowledge for young people and helps them enhance their awareness. Due to the advancement of the technology and media plays a big role in making aware about these topics. Like for example, they are more in touch about these issues such as spreading the awareness in the media and on the internet so that they can easily discussed with their friends (facebook, online forums, blogs and etc.). They are capable to do this because of the relevance as to what happen in the surroundings.
The second reason, they know that unless they protect natural resources then their next generation will not have resource living and development. Therefore, they will find methods so that next generations still have enough natural resources, good environment to live. At present, many young scientists and young engineers is researching and discovering new resources and protection methods.
The third reason, a lot of calamities like storm, flood, drought and earthquake happen every year, which makes hundreds of people fall in difficulty. Many clubs and charities young people are very active. Voluntary youngsters will really appear and help victims through difficulty. Besides, living conditions are higher and higher, the young will care about more problems as: environment, wild animal and poverty.
To illustrate, I totally agree with the idea that young people are more aware of and concerned about issues like polluted environment, poverty and animal welfare than previous generations.
I am preparing to ielts test. This is my essay.
Can you make errors and mark this essay ?
Thanks you so much!
Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. What is your own opinion?
--------------
Now aday, the world has a lot of problems such as polluted environment, poverty, animals' extinction what never have been seen before. Young people are much more aware of and concerned about the consequences of such issues than previous generations. In my opinion, I agree with that idea.
The first reason, globalization trend provides information and knowledge for young people and helps them enhance their awareness. Due to the advancement of the technology and media plays a big role in making aware about these topics. Like for example, they are more in touch about these issues such as spreading the awareness in the media and on the internet so that they can easily discussed with their friends (facebook, online forums, blogs and etc.). They are capable to do this because of the relevance as to what happen in the surroundings.
The second reason, they know that unless they protect natural resources then their next generation will not have resource living and development. Therefore, they will find methods so that next generations still have enough natural resources, good environment to live. At present, many young scientists and young engineers is researching and discovering new resources and protection methods.
The third reason, a lot of calamities like storm, flood, drought and earthquake happen every year, which makes hundreds of people fall in difficulty. Many clubs and charities young people are very active. Voluntary youngsters will really appear and help victims through difficulty. Besides, living conditions are higher and higher, the young will care about more problems as: environment, wild animal and poverty.
To illustrate, I totally agree with the idea that young people are more aware of and concerned about issues like polluted environment, poverty and animal welfare than previous generations.