Essays / Advantages & Disadvantages of COMPUTER GAMES; "foundation English level 2" [9]

Topic name; the effects of Computer games "Write at least two advantages and one disadvantage".
Word count 553
I want to you to help me on my essay.My teacher always talks about cohesiveness of the sentences and my usage of signs such as comma , full stop and so on is not that good. Please comment about it in your best.

Strategic thinking,Relaxation,Physical Probs; Advantages&Disadvantages COMPUTER GAMES

In the 21st century, technology has made a clear impact to the world and computer games have become a crucial part of our daily life. The number of people play computer games has been increasing rapidly for the past years, due to the availability and the accessibility of computers at home or at internet cafes. Playing computer games brings about positive effects such as; thinking critically and relaxing for our minds. However, they also bring about negative effective; playing overtime results physical problems to the players.

Firstly, playing computer games possess from the players to think critically, in order to win matches or proceed to the next stages of the game. Some of the games are very tough and no one can win easily, unless he/she thinks for a while, which I believe it is good for the players, because they learn how to think, plan ahead strategically and solve their problems. One of the most popular games that are played in most of the countries is mission game. The players are required to rescue a person from a jail without seen anyone. So, the one who is controlling the game has to think and plan every move from the first step up to the last step, until he wins or loses the game.

Secondly, we can relax for our mind by playing computer games. After working a long time, surely our mind needs to have some kind of relaxation, and playing such games can be a good way to have a relaxation. Moreover, by the time we play, we can do many other activities such as; we can listen to music, because we don't use our ears to play instead we use our hands. Gamers can listen to their favorite music and still manage to play. In addition, players can chat with their friends directly or through social networks websites. Computer games create a friendship and have become a socializing tool to build and strength strong relationship between friends (Lestch, 2007).

Third, playing computer games overtime brings about health problems. Most of the players, who spend much time in front of the computer, usually end up with sigh problems, because of the light from the screen of the computer. Due to that sight problem, they can't see from a distance which may affect their personal activities such; studies. Studies discovered playing games overtime could entail health risks such as obesity, eye damage, and exposure to radiation (Schmitt, 2001). On the other hand, sitting on a chair for a long time with-out exercising brings obesity or overweight. Most game players don't exercise; instead they eat junk food, which is not good for our health. The combination of eating junk food and not exercising can easily result obesity in a short period of time.

In conclusion, as the technological development is taking place and making an impact day after day, computer games have become a part of our daily life. Playing computer games results in positive effects such as; it demands from the players to think strategically and it gives the players an opportunity to relax their minds. However, it also brings about negative results; playing them overtime often results in physical health problems such as; sight problems and overweight.