Writing Feedback / Aim High; Soar High / Essay for writing competition [8]

I am having writting essay competition its about AIM HIGH; SOAR HIGH. I just need some ideas and in the writting competition paper they wrote for us:

It is said that our attitude determines our altitude. Human mind is very powerful and if it is conditioned, it can drive a person to achieve whatever he / she wants. Therefore, it is very important that we should always be positive, aim high and set goals of a high order. High aims should be followed by an action plan. When the plan is followed with commitment and hard work, success greets us. There is no end to our growth. After getting one level of sucess, we should aim for still higher level. Great success does not mean sacrificing any of basic human values like truth, love, right-conduct, peace, non-violence. In our march toward higher goals, we should not pull down other people. Rather, we should help others also to succees. Reaching out to others is the hall mark of highly effective people. I HOPE YOU GUYS TELL ME YOUR IDEAS WHICH MAY HELP ME.

Lots of love :)