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Aim High; Soar High / Essay for writing competition


nutybieber 1 / 4  
Mar 30, 2013   #1
I am having writting essay competition its about AIM HIGH; SOAR HIGH. I just need some ideas and in the writting competition paper they wrote for us:

It is said that our attitude determines our altitude. Human mind is very powerful and if it is conditioned, it can drive a person to achieve whatever he / she wants. Therefore, it is very important that we should always be positive, aim high and set goals of a high order. High aims should be followed by an action plan. When the plan is followed with commitment and hard work, success greets us. There is no end to our growth. After getting one level of sucess, we should aim for still higher level. Great success does not mean sacrificing any of basic human values like truth, love, right-conduct, peace, non-violence. In our march toward higher goals, we should not pull down other people. Rather, we should help others also to succees. Reaching out to others is the hall mark of highly effective people. I HOPE YOU GUYS TELL ME YOUR IDEAS WHICH MAY HELP ME.

Lots of love :)

chessman567 5 / 170 11  
Mar 30, 2013   #2
I like it a lot, but I don't feel that you are getting personal enough. Anyone can adopt that essay because it is so generic; you have to put in something about yourself, how YOU reached out to others.

Oh and please like my post :)

The first sentence though, was EXTREMELY POWERFUL! :) The essay sort of deprecated as it went on.

THE Human mind is very powerful and if it is conditioned, it can drive a person to achieve whatever he / she(DON'T PUT DASHES IN ESSAYS. WRITE HE OR SHE) wants.

Great success does not mean sacrificing any of THE basic human values like truth, love, right-conduct, peace, non-violence.

Post your next version and please remember to "like" my post :)

Looking forward to the next revision
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 31, 2013   #3
Human mind is very powerful and if it is conditioned, it can drive a person to achieve whatever he / she wants.

Human mind is very powerful and if it is properly disciplined, trained and motivated, it can drive a person to reach the heights he or she wants.

Therefore, it is very important that we should always be positive, aim high and set goals of a high order.

Therefore it is very important that we should think positive, be visionary, aim high and commit ourselves to pursuing our goals.

High aims should be followed by an action plan.

We need to craft a workable and achievable action plan that drive us towards our vision. Along the process, we should periodically review our progress and bring in adjustments to the action plan to align it with the final goal.
OP nutybieber 1 / 4  
Mar 31, 2013   #4
I appreciate your help :) the essay must contain 900 or more words so I don't have more ideas to write about would you guys give me example of what I should talk :)
chessman567 5 / 170 11  
Mar 31, 2013   #5
Oh, that wasn't your essay? I thought that was your essay; so is it the description?

use your creative mind. Write about a time when you helped someone. Describe the weather. Was it windy? Describe how you felt. Or make up something. Did you help a beggar before? Even if you didn't, make it up.

You have to think.

Please like this post and I look forward to reading your essay :)
OP nutybieber 1 / 4  
Mar 31, 2013   #6
yeah its the description, thanks for your help obviously your ideas will help, I'll post it when I finish :)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 31, 2013   #7
the essay must contain 900 or more words so I don't have more ideas to write about would you guys give me example of what I should talk :)

You can cite some example of a well known personality who aimed high and then reached his or her goal. That would make your essay more interesting and convincing. Remember to highlight the points you talked about through this example. I feel you better do a little bit of research of this personality and pick up interesting things about this person to include in your essay.

Hope to see your revised version :)
OP nutybieber 1 / 4  
Mar 31, 2013   #8
uhhm thats great maybe I could talk about Justin Bieber right? his dream came true and so on...


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