Writing Feedback /
IELTS; Letter to the course lecturer informing my inability to continue the course [2]
I have enrolled in the evening course being conducted by you in journalism, but regret to inform you that I will not be able to continue it further.
Passive voice and wordy
Can be stated as the following:
I am enrolled in your evening journalism course, but regretfully I won't be able to continue.
I am currently employed full time in a newspaper agency and this was the reason why I joined the course. Due to increase in work I have not been able to devote enough time for the course, because of which my grades have been slipping. I need to keep my job due to financial reasons and thus have to prioritize it over my studies. This is because I am the sole bread earner for my family
Wordy
Can be stated as the following:
My current full-time employment at a newspaper agency compelled me to enroll in your journalism course. Unfortunately, my work load has increased. Therefore, I am unable to devote any time to studying; thus, the poor grades I am accumulating. Also, I must prioritize my job due to financial obligations as head of household.
Nevertheless, I would like to complete the course later, when I have justifiable time for it. Till then I would read through the course material by myself, as I am very keen to learn about journalism. I hope you would understand my situation and allow me to continue later.
Redundancy & Wordy
Can be stated as the following:
Nevertheless, at my convenience I would like to complete the course at a later date. However, until then I will read through the course material, because I am still very interested in journalism. I hope you will understand my situation and allow me a leave of absence to continue at a later time.
