edo walhalla
May 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Integrated task; Garlic has beneficial properties [2]
Could anybody chech my essay? I'm goint to take the TOEFL this month and I'm writing a lot.
I'll be grateful if you just check spelling errors and grammar mistakes, and if you could tell me what do you think about it.
Kind of regards and thanks in advance.
In the reading passage it was said garlic has beneficial properties. It was used in the past too. For instance, Sanskrit ate it in 3000 b.c. and Ancient Egypt used to give it to slaves because they believed garlic would make them stronger so they could work harder. Nevertheless, Greeks and Romans belived garlic has magical power, and they give it to soldiers in order to make them more courageous and to prevent evil. Marco Polo as well used to bring garlic throughout his travel in Orient.
Furthermore, Garlic juice was given to soldiers fighting in the World War I to prevent them from bacteria and infections. However this was done without medical evidence.
The listening passage support the reading passage saying that lots of medical report does agree with this idea and showing how garlic works. In this passage it was said there are scientific evidences which prove garlic is really helpful: it actually kills 23 different kind of bacteria and it's since 1958 that garlic properties had been studied.
Moreover, uncooked garlic has more beneficial properties than the cooked one. It can reduce blood pressure preventing of risk of heart attacks.
Could anybody chech my essay? I'm goint to take the TOEFL this month and I'm writing a lot.
I'll be grateful if you just check spelling errors and grammar mistakes, and if you could tell me what do you think about it.
Kind of regards and thanks in advance.
In the reading passage it was said garlic has beneficial properties. It was used in the past too. For instance, Sanskrit ate it in 3000 b.c. and Ancient Egypt used to give it to slaves because they believed garlic would make them stronger so they could work harder. Nevertheless, Greeks and Romans belived garlic has magical power, and they give it to soldiers in order to make them more courageous and to prevent evil. Marco Polo as well used to bring garlic throughout his travel in Orient.
Furthermore, Garlic juice was given to soldiers fighting in the World War I to prevent them from bacteria and infections. However this was done without medical evidence.
The listening passage support the reading passage saying that lots of medical report does agree with this idea and showing how garlic works. In this passage it was said there are scientific evidences which prove garlic is really helpful: it actually kills 23 different kind of bacteria and it's since 1958 that garlic properties had been studied.
Moreover, uncooked garlic has more beneficial properties than the cooked one. It can reduce blood pressure preventing of risk of heart attacks.
