Writing Feedback / Marketing assistant position - IELTS Letter check Request [4]

I don't think you need to add the last sentence as it makes you sound desperate (anxious part), besides that, everything seems fine! Good luck! :)

Writing Feedback / Marketing assistant position - IELTS Letter check Request [4]

sophisticated
Dear Sir,

Let me introduce myself. My name is Mi tt Romney, my purpose of writing this letter is to apply for post of marketing assistant in your company Denver Associates. My neighbor Mr. Smith is working with your company as a production manager for the past 2 years and it was through him that I came to know that your company is looking for a part time M arketing A ssistant.

I am pursing my post graduate in field of marketing from Kellogg's University of USA. As per the visa rules, I am permitted to work 20 hours a week during my study. I have 6 months of experience in marketing during my college internship in field marketing as well as I nternet marketing. I was associated with Sharp Network solutions in India before joining my MBA course in USA. Attached is a copy of my resume and I can also provide university reference letters from our dean and professor if required.

As per my verbal conversation with Mr. Smith, marketing baby products via xx and xx sounds very exciting to me

GOOD LUCK! :)

Graduate / Essay for Masters in Accounting - Factors for Job Choice, Challenge, & Success Reason [3]

Hey I really like your essay and honestly can't find much fault with it, and I don't know if that's just me. Really like that you emphasised on the importance of having a positive mind-set and a gracious attitude. :)

This meant looking hard at a problem like adjustment to a transition and finding a solution. < I don't really get this sentence, maybe you should rephrase it better?

I had previously done community service at an event called the XXX, and still remembered the smiles on the faces of children who learned about healthy eating by nibbling on a piece of watermelon, or the enraptured look on the faces of adults who were looking at Tai Chi demonstrations as a way to promote exercise.

Being thankful helps me feel blessed to be alive every moment. Monks who have trained to meditate on gratitude were found to have increased capacity for empathy and compassion. Improving these qualities through being thankful allowed me to understand another party's point of view and enabled me to be more effective in resolving conflicts. Gratitude compels me to give back to the community in the form of community service, mentoring, and of course, creating a start-up with a social impact.