Nicole0223
Jun 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Negative effect of modern life's pressures on family life [6]
Besides, heavy stressful...happen.
There are too many "and" showed in one sentence.
I suggest that the sentence should be divided into two sentences.
The first sentence should be ended after dwellers. The second sentence
should start with " Thus, mental and physical deterioration is more likely to happen."
Besides, heavy stressful...happen.
There are too many "and" showed in one sentence.
I suggest that the sentence should be divided into two sentences.
The first sentence should be ended after dwellers. The second sentence
should start with " Thus, mental and physical deterioration is more likely to happen."
