Undergraduate / UT Austin Tranfer Admisson, Older tranfer student with pervious career experience [8]

The field of study that I am most passionate about is nursing. My goal is to earn my B.S.N. What first sparked my interest in the health care industry was when I took a pharmacy technician course. I enjoyed exploring the world of pharmaceuticals and learning about their interactions with the body. I was particularly fascinated with how the human body metabolizes the medicines and uses them to pacify, or even cure illnesses. While I was completing my pharmaceutical externship I would watch the lead technician's compound and mix suspensions, although I was fascinated with the actual work, I found myself wanting to be directly involved with the patients. I knew that my knowledge of pharmaceuticals and dosage calculations would assist me in better serving these patients.

On a more personal level I wanted be a nurse when my grandmother fell ill. She was in and out of hospitals for the last four years of her life, and she needed constant care at her home. As I did have some experience in medicine I helped schedule her doctor appointments, drove her to wherever she needed, picked up her medications, and made sure that she took the right medication at the correct time. At the end of the day I would often sit with her and review her medical bills and explain what the charges were, and what the medical code meant, and explain anything I could about her medications. Quite often she would tell me that she was so relieved and thankful that she had someone whom truly cared about helping return her body and mind back to health. Her words made me realize that I needed, and wanted, more knowledge in medicine so that I could have done more for her.

In the head-spinning world of raising children, I have learned that being prepared for your plans to change is an essential habit. When I had my daughter I knew that I would have to take time off from school, but I planned to go back the following semester. Within that time my husband received an amazing job opportunity and we would be moving to Austin, Texas. Shortly after I gained my in-state residency status and began to take classes at Austin Community College, I became pregnant with my son. I was overwhelmed with the thought of going back to school, and raising two children with no family or friends that could help. I felt like I was never going to finish school-that my opportunity had passed. But knowing that I was present for the big moments in my children's lives and that I helped shaped who they are today, kept my fire stoked. I learned to keep a positive outlook and to not get downhearted when things don't go exactly according to plan. When you cannot be flexible, you set yourself up for failure; life is unpredictable, so go with the flow and not against it. To continue the train metaphor, while pursuing my career goals as a nurse were temporarily interrupted by duty to family; they are by no means "derailed".

The person that I am today, I owe in part to my children. They, and others have made me want to better myself as a person and excel in my studies so that I can use my knowledge to help others, especially those struggling with illness and pain. My children, and the personal experiences that I mentioned earlier, have taught me patience, endurance, and how a person could completely let go of their own ego, in order to be a part of something greater. I am always striving to be more than I am, to achieve more than I have, and to improve my skills and knowledge, so I can be the best mother, and with your consideration, the best nurse I can be.

How can University of Texas help me achieve my goals? I hope I have explained the motivation to be a nurse, and demonstrated my abilities through previous experience in the field to do the job. I have chosen the University of Texas as the best place to get the tools to do the job based on the university's outstanding academic reputation and achievements by University of Texas alumni in the healthcare field. I plan to continue my education past a bachelor's degree and to eventually become a nursing educator.

In conclusion, I ask your careful consideration of my application. If you decide to admit me as an undergraduate student, I can guarantee you that I will attend the University of Texas education to be a credit to your school, myself, and the nursing profession.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth

Undergraduate / UT Austin Tranfer Admisson, Older tranfer student with pervious career experience [8]

thank you both for your help and critisism. Here is my latest version, (it has some grammerical errors and spelling errors):

Integrity, leadership, and determination. These are the values that I hold dear to my heart. I have learned many important life lessons in my thirty one years. I learned that the choices we make are all conscious and weighed at that specific moment in our lives. Their is no right or wrong path to take, because the grass is always greener on the other side. In high school I made some good and bad choices. I chose to join the drill team and make great friends as well as have a sense of school pride, I also chose to fall in with a bad crowd. The latter decision caused me to fall a whole year behind in credits. I was faced with not being able to graduate on time. A teacher once told me, "you deserve what you accept." I wasn't going to accept not graduating. I enrolled in independent study, as well as after school credit make up sessions , along with my regular classes. I studied seven days a week from the hours of seven in the morning till seven at night for an entire school year. I was exhausted, but I did it, and I graduated with a b average to boot. I was able to walk across the stage, shake the principals hand a know that I truly earned that piece of paper that made all my hard work worth it.

After high school I enrolled in a pharmacy technician program. I loved it. I graduated with one of the highest scores and I also passed the national certification through the Pharmacy technician.

Certification Board. I was all set to start my new career in medicine and then out
the blue a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity came knocking at my door. My estranged father called, he told me how proud hw was that I took responsibility for my own actions and worked so hard to graduate. He wanted to suprrse me with a job, he lined up a position for me as a set decorator on a movie and that if I passed it up I might never get this opportunity again. I was torn. Should I go on the path that I already carved out for my self or should I carve a new one? I always wanted to be closer to my father and how amazing would it be to work in the studios! I would be around movie stars, producers, and directors, as well as making really good money all with a high school diploma. I choose to abandon my pharmacy technician career and work in the studios.

For the next ten years I held a few different jobs in the entertainment industry. I started out as a set decorator for low budget and independent films, as well as commercials. I worked my way up as an executive assistant at CBS Studios in Hollywood working on the show "Survivor." I eventually became an assistant television editor and worked on many shows for FOX,and The Discovery Channel. The lessons I learned that in high school prepared me for the mental and physical stamina I needed to succeed in a very difficult field, and male dominated industry. I was only twenty eight and I achieved what most college graduates in their thirties achieve,what more could I want? I wanted to finish what I worked so hard for, my pharmacy technician career. I wanted to go back to the pharmacy,unfortunately I never renewed my state and national licenses. I faced the reality that my pharmacy technician career was never going to be. But that's what I chose to do. I decided to take a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I turned it into a successful career. I gained invaluable lessons from my bosses and co-workers, I worked my way up the ladder and got to where I was by hard work, diligence, and always being a fair, and honest person. My mother taught me to always "help the people who helped you." Knowing that the knowledge I passed on to others who were just starting out helped them in their lives and careers was one of the highlight in my studio career. I had left my mark in that industry and the friends that I helped, and now it was time to move on and embark on a new journey, to a path that I alone wanted for me.

Undergraduate / UT Austin Tranfer Admisson, Older tranfer student with pervious career experience [8]

Thank you for the writing mechanics help. I do have a problem with comma splicing, and I rely on spell check too much. The TV experience is where i am struggling, because i have no previous volunteer work or medical field experience. Also, i have no extracirriculars from the community college. All I have are good grades and semester gaps from moving and pregnancies. How can i parlay those into a good essay?