CS800
Mar 31, 2009
Writing Feedback / A good X ( Teacher, Roomate, Classmate, Friend, etc.) [3]
Hi everybody!
I wanted to write an essay which is about characteristics of a good friend, teacher, roomate, etc. In these types of the essays, I thought it might be better to find some common characteristics like generosity, kind, etc. I wrote an essay. Could you please revise it and tell me your opinions?
I know it is so simple but tell me how I can improve it.
Thank you very much.
My essay:
Nowadays more and more people begin to realize the important role of a good X in their life. Some people believe having a good X is not so important, but I completely disagree with them. Although a good X could have many good characteristics, I think a good X should be a kind, patient, and generous person.
A good X is a kind person. Kindness strengths all types of relations. In contrast, being unkind weakens them. For instance, during high school classes, I had a X who was an unkind person. All students hated him and they did not talk with him. While he did not respect to others opinions, these reactions were understandable. On the other hand, I had a X who was the epitome of kindness, all students liked him. He helped, listened and respected to other students. Moreover, Kindness Usually comes with patience.
A good X is a patient person. An X who is impatient could not be a good X. Impatient people rapidly decide and get angry, and after that rapidly change their decision. This behavior is annoying. Consequently, being patient can be helpful for a durable and logical relation. Moreover, being generous is another factor of choosing a friend.
A good X is a generous person. An X who is a jealous person could not be a good X. In these days we could not find many people who are generous. A generous person is willing to lend a hand when you need a little help. When you go through a crisis, like a death in the family, a good X volunteers to help in any way he can.
Taking into account all these factors we can safety draw the conclusion that if you have an X who is kind, patient,and generous, you are so lucky. The more good X you have, the more lucky you. Aren't you?
Hi everybody!
I wanted to write an essay which is about characteristics of a good friend, teacher, roomate, etc. In these types of the essays, I thought it might be better to find some common characteristics like generosity, kind, etc. I wrote an essay. Could you please revise it and tell me your opinions?
I know it is so simple but tell me how I can improve it.
Thank you very much.
My essay:
Nowadays more and more people begin to realize the important role of a good X in their life. Some people believe having a good X is not so important, but I completely disagree with them. Although a good X could have many good characteristics, I think a good X should be a kind, patient, and generous person.
A good X is a kind person. Kindness strengths all types of relations. In contrast, being unkind weakens them. For instance, during high school classes, I had a X who was an unkind person. All students hated him and they did not talk with him. While he did not respect to others opinions, these reactions were understandable. On the other hand, I had a X who was the epitome of kindness, all students liked him. He helped, listened and respected to other students. Moreover, Kindness Usually comes with patience.
A good X is a patient person. An X who is impatient could not be a good X. Impatient people rapidly decide and get angry, and after that rapidly change their decision. This behavior is annoying. Consequently, being patient can be helpful for a durable and logical relation. Moreover, being generous is another factor of choosing a friend.
A good X is a generous person. An X who is a jealous person could not be a good X. In these days we could not find many people who are generous. A generous person is willing to lend a hand when you need a little help. When you go through a crisis, like a death in the family, a good X volunteers to help in any way he can.
Taking into account all these factors we can safety draw the conclusion that if you have an X who is kind, patient,and generous, you are so lucky. The more good X you have, the more lucky you. Aren't you?
