Graduate / I speak Chinese, French and Italian; Personal Statement for Business School [2]

Please help me with my personal statement, especially with the language, stentences and word usage.

a. academic and professional background
b. why XX MBA or master's degree
c. Desired career path after graduation
d. Your thoughts on giving back as a student and as an alumnus

On April 4, 2013, at the Global Trade Center in Beijing, full of passion and self-confidence, I was giving a presentation "Using Information Technology to Realize the Idea of Smart City" which received high remarks from real estate executives who attended the meeting. On that day, I found that it was my curiosity to explore the new things that helps me win accolades from the executives and gain satisfaction from my work.

After earned a B.A. in English and a minor in economics from XX University, I continue to obtain a M.S. degree in software engineering in order to pursue my interest in online marketing. In Ministry of Agriculture, I saw the flourishing software and Internet applications in agriculture product processing and supply chains when I was managing agricultural projects and I strongly feel the need for making use of my knowledge in the booming IT industry. Then I work in Grand Consulting Company as a consultant. Those experiences prepared me the fundamental knowledge of business and enhanced my skills in project management and IT strategy.

However, my ability to produce more solutions for a larger market is limited since I need more insights, management experiences and networks in my work, and Krannert exactly provides an ideal climate for me to further develop my career. XX's MBA program attracts me for its outstanding faculty and various analytic and statistic MBA courses, especially the Management of Information Systems and Business Analytics. These theories and methodologies will improve the effectiveness of a project. Moreover, I can join many Krannert's clubs and programs. For example, the Experiential Learning Initiative will give me opportunities to practice my communication and teamwork skills and enhance my leadership skills so that I can manage groups of people in more efficient ways.

I look forward to being a consultant specializing in business and IT strategy, who uses the new knowledge of computer and electronics industry to work for all enterprises planning to renovate their business models and facilitate their development. Upon graduation, I intend to join the IT Group in a consulting company, such as Bain & Company specializing in Business-IT engagement, IBM specializing IT strategy and Accenture specializing Business Process Management in America or in China. I will come back to China and become a senior consultant to offer Business-IT consultation services at Grand Consulting Company. Ultimately, I plan to build the Grand Consulting Company as a national brand of Business-IT consulting.

As a female student from China who can speak Chinese, French and Italian, I believe I will contribute to the diversity of XX's student body. My unique background in business, IT industry and entrepreneurship will offer insights in classes. My leadership and teamwork skills will also improve students' learning experiences. Furthermore, as an alumna, I will enhance the communication of the global alumni network, pass down knowledge and experiences, and organize or participate in alumni activities. In addition, I will donate to XX's Business Opportunity Program for Chinese students who are ready to start an entrepreneurship when I succeed in my profession.

Writing Feedback / INTEGRITY IS A PRINCIPLE ONE SHOULD HAVE ALL TIMES; What does integrity mean to you? [3]

Dear editors and friends,

Could you help me with the essay on integrity. Please help me correct any mistake of words, sentences, grammar and give me any structural suggestions.

Thank you very much!

* Integrity (500 words max) - What does integrity mean to you? How does integrity relate to building communities of trust in academic, personal and professional settings? What expectations should Purdue have towards its students with regards to academic integrity? What consequences should students who do not uphold these standards face?

I clearly remember a time when I faced the risk of sacrificing my integrity. A project supervisor from a seed company wanted to win the bid for an organic seed program with government investment. He offered me 10,000 yuan in order to get some inside information from me. I refused the offer and did not reveal any information about that program, because in no circumstance would I compromise my integrity. I believe integrity is everything and everyone should take integrity as one of his/her prime principles all the time.

For me, integrity is surely one of my key values. Especially as a professional in business, integrity is of vital importance in my career. I will always keep integrity as the bottom line of my code of conduct. Without integrity, staffs would be uncooperative in the teamwork, customers would not buy my products or services twice, and my company's reputation would be severely damaged. Without integrity, nothing can be achieved. Furthermore, the higher one climbs, the harder he falls. Thus, the more successful I become, the more I should value integrity.

In a community, integrity plays a very important role since people who have integrity hold firmly to their beliefs, which enable them to act correctly in academic, personal and professional situations. In the academic community, students of integrity will observe academic standards rigorously, exchange ideas freely and improve the social recognition of the value of their institutions. In personal circumstances, integrity leads individuals to understand who they really are, thus they can be honest to their interests and ideal life. In the workplace, integrity enhances personal commitment to the code of ethics set forth by the profession. Moreover, integrity establishes mutual beneficial personal relationships in a community, helps people develop a sense of loyalty and duty, and fosters their professional competencies. In a word, the more people have integrity in a community, the more efficiency and productivity we can have, and the more happiness and trust we can enjoy.

Given the importance of academic integrity, Purdue should expect its students to know perfectly well about what academic standards they must uphold and what consequences they will face when they violate the standards. At Purdue University, it should be expected that all students will produce their own original work and properly cite the sources they use. Also, Purdue should expect their students to seek advice from their professors or advisors if they are unclear about specific requirements of academic integrity. To make sure every student really understand Purdue's integrity expectations, Purdue can add a course about integrity into the required curriculum of every freshman or first year students.

For students who do adhere to academic standards, they must receive adequate education or severe punishment. Specifically speaking, for the first violations, students will be tolerated, however, should receive an effective warning that helps them realize the faults, and be required to retake the integrity course. For the second violations, students will fail their courses and their misconducts will be recorded in the file. In the worst cases, students who commit serious violations must be expelled from the university.