Writing Feedback / Students' academic skills strongly reflect how their teacher helps them to promote their performance [5]

Topic : Teachers should be paid according to their students' performance.

From the days of Plato and Socrates, there's a tough debate about how we help students to improve their academic ability. Some researchers give an idea that paying teachers according to their pupil's performance. I believe that students' academic skills strongly reflect how their teacher to help them to promote their performance. Some people argue that paying teachers according to their students' academic performance can elicit disadvantages such as making light to non-academic subjects like Art and Music. Granted that it is true, I strongly advocate that this policy will ultimately bring benefit them detriments by making teachers work hard and put more efforts to their students to be more incentives payed. Thus, I believe that we should decide the wage of teachers according to teacher's performance, considering with three terms involved.

First of all, in practical terms, promotion teachers make them to put more efforts when they teach the students. Apparently, how much they will go to paid strongly influences their performance and how much pay their efforts to teach students to improve students' because of getting higher payments which will make them live better. Also, such method of waging standard can cause competition among the teachers, which will make them to show passion on teaching. And this will strongly benefit to students by understanding the topic better, and eventually lead them to get higher academic performance. For example, my elementary school sets up many different prizes and incentives for teachers when the class which each of them is taking have done great job on the term test. Under the encouragement of prizes, our teachers work hard to make the students get the score higher than other schools which any prizes are not set up. If we eliminate any incentives given to teachers, this will strongly harm the students' academic ability.

Second of all, in social terms, this policy will help the government official to kick out bad quality of teachers. We have lots of ill-natured instructor in the school such as treating the students with violent method, and not concentrating the students but playing games when they are in the class. Such teachers are detrimental not only for the growth of students, but also schools and our nation which needs outstanding individual. Under this policy, I believe the teachers should select two options; one is to teach the students with hot-passion, second is to get out of the school. For example, when I was my middle school, there was a instructor who inflicts corporeal without any lawful reasons. After this policy is accepted by the school official, the instructor retired from the school voluntarily. So It will help the school to get more great environment to learn.

To sum up, I strongly advocate teachers should be paid according to their student's academic ability. It will be wised for schools to adopt this policy so that they can promote not only their students' performance, but also help the nation's growth by corroborating more great individual to the society.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Ideas about having university education should be available for all or not [5]

Today, Many people with different field tend to obtain higher education. Society in these days requires students to be a dexterous individual in particular knowledge. Role of university education is to breed outstanding individual that society needs, and to help students to get succeed in each career. That brings high-school graduated students lead to study in upper education, and get college degree as a result of achievement. But there's a fierce debate among people and society about the college education should be free to all students. Some people thinks college education needs to open to all students, often posits all students have a right to succeed in the future. Under the role of university, They have to make all students to better individual to work well in society. Meanwhile, other people claims that college education should be open to only for good students, who had good score in objective evaluation like SAT. In having a choose between two aspects, I strongly believe everyone should have a right to apply for college or university students want, because of following two reasons.

First of all, in practical terms, College has a duty to nurture numerous talented citizens. It is a country's duty that to help its citizens to be a better member of the society, by educate themselves. Helping to get higher education to each of students will helps to have more outstanding individual in the society. They will help society to advance; they can contribute to advance economy by their knowledge. Education is the power to nurture its citizens, and citizen who can work for their country enhances a society's economy. South Korea, which have college education for all students give us good example to illustrate this point. This example demonstrates that how the country can enhance its economy just in 50 years after Korean War. Society offers to college to breed people who can work for their country. And then more than 80% of Korean Students are able to receive higher education, and eventually become a qualified graduate who help 'Miracle of Han River'. If college did not contribute to give chance to more students in Korea, enhancement of Korean economy might not be possible.

Second of all, in social terms, We could miss out on good ideas as a society. In basically, the terms of 'bad students' is really ambiguous: Because the students who got fail in the test, are just not good at the particular subject. That means, they are able to have talent on other fields like Art or Music. Not allowing them into college because of test score is not only unfair, but also will cause them to be unable to further their ideas and skills. It is a society that the biggest victims of restricting chances to them to get into college education. For example, Yoo-Joo Park, who is 19-years-old iOS Developer, shed on light to this point. He is known for his own game apps to Korean iPhone users. He developed a gaming platform people can enjoy each other more easily and It just went viral through Apple communities. But owing to fail some subjects in high school which is unrelated to accomplish his dream as App Developer, he could not take college education. This example strongly gives us not allowing students who just have low GPA scores in few subjects is a big mistake. Our society would be missed out on discoveries and inventions if we did not allow poor students to take university education.

So, in light of the two points aforementioned with examples, I think to open college education to all is good idea. It will be wise for people to remember these points, and try to open chances to give college education for all, regardless of test score. This must contribute to help to reform our economy, and to give creativity into our society.