Writing Feedback / [GRE] - The indicator of a great nation is represented by the general welfare [3]

Can anyone help with my essay? Thank you very much!

The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of its people.

The speaker asserts that it is the general welfare of people that should be regarded as the indicator of a great nation instead of achievements of certain elites while the public are holding various perspectives on this issue. From my point of view, the general welfare of citizens should be given the highest priority for any nation and thus it can greatly represent the well being of the nation. Beyond this concession, however, achievements of rulers, artists, and scientists are non-negligible factors indicating a nation's well being since they usually serve to improve people's standard of living.

The very objective of a nation's rulers is to provide citizens with a qualified life and the most important factor contributing to it is the welfare regime. Therefore a good welfare system can effectively represent a great nation. Opponents may argue that judging a nation is never a straightforward issue as it involves various requirements such as, stable economy, pollution-free environment, freedom of speech, and healthy legal institution. On the other hand, however, a good welfare system can only be established if all the requirements above are satisfied, in other words, all of these factors to some extent serve as foundation on which a complete and sound welfare state is established, hence the welfare of people would still be an appropriate indicator of a prosperous nation.

Notwithstanding the foregoing reasons why the general welfare is an adequate indicator of a great nation, the statement poses certain problems that it unfairly ignores the influence of social elites, such as scientists and artists.

In the area of natural science, the primary goal of most scientific researches and inventions is to benefit the public's life quality so as to develop a prosperous nation. An example involving the discovery of antibiotics can aptly illustrate how a scientific achievement can contribute to a nation's development. In early twentieth century, thousands of lives are easily claimed by pneumonia until a pathologist and bacteriologist discovered the first commercially available antibiotic that kills bacteria. In current society, numerous examples prove that scientific achievements can address pressing social problems in various areas and hence they are certainly good indicator of a great nation.

The development of art also fairly indicates the well being of a nation for mainly two reasons that artistic works enrich people's spiritual life and that great art achievements are accomplished on the foundation of a peaceful and stable societal environment. Generally, the public would not appreciate or pursue fine arts until they are satisfied with their material conditions, hence abundant art achievements indicate both spiritual and material civilization, in other words, a well-developed society.

In conclusion, I concede the speaker's assertion that the general welfare is a proper indicator of a great nation because improving citizen's quality of life is a nation's ultimate objective. However the speaker unfairly ignores the contribution to a nation from achievements of certain social elites that scientific inventions help address social needs and artistic achievements elevate people's inner world.

Writing Feedback / [GRE] - University should require students to take various courses [3]

Here is my issue writing. Could anyone give me some suggestions? Thank you!

Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.

The statement asserts that every college student should be required to take a variety of courses outside his or her specific field of study while there have been various perspectives on this issue. Supporters may claim that interdisciplinary education would help students gain a comprehensive world view so that they can be truly enlightened and educated. On the other hand, however, to become an expert in any academic field, a student needs to pursue in that field attentively and diligently without too many distractions caused by irrelevant courses.

From my point of view, a university's primary goal is to prepare physically and intellectually adequate students. I concede that a sure way to achieve this goal is to require students to take different courses as the statement claims. A typical Chinese university can aptly illustrate this point. In China, it is compulsory for every freshman and sophomore student to accomplish a certain amount of credits in a variety of disciplines regardless of one's major, such as physical education, Chinese literature, advanced mathematics and so forth. For instance, Peking University requires students who major in natural sciences to take courses involving social sciences and Sun Yat-sen University requires students to master the skill of swimming. Such requirements ensure that all students receive a complete education which can in turn enhance their own field of study. For example, students majoring in Chinese literature can learn the method of logical writing from mathematic education and those majoring in natural sciences would benefit from social sciences that may inspire creativity or reveal some societal problems in demand of scientific research to solve. Additionally, as most students in China have not received qualified physical education before entering universities, it is essential for them to take courses involving sports to obtain good health.

Another reason in favor of the statement is that significant advances in some disciplines require knowledge from various fields. A striking example of how knowledge in diverse fields is necessary to truly enlighten college students involves the area of art and design. In this realm, not only aesthetic knowledge, cultural background and use of designing software are indispensable, but knowledge involving natural sciences are also necessary for students to apply their design to practical uses. For example, without basic physics principles one can never design a qualified bridge or even a sturdy chair, and without certain knowledge of literature, one cannot design effective advertising language.

Notwithstanding the foregoing reasons why a liberal education is beneficial, the suggestion in the statement poses a non-negligible problem which may undermine the university's very objectives. Since a dedicated effort for a long period of time is crucial for any student to make great advances and become a specialist, diverse courses may serve to distract the student and thus impede progress in his or her own specialized area. A compelling example involves the study of organic chemistry. Without long-time experiments in laboratory, no significant results can be achieved. The synthesis of a compound usually needs hundreds of consecutive trials under different conditions and with various catalysts therefore it is unlikely for a student majoring in organic chemistry to spare time and effort on other disciplines.

In conclusion, I concede that the statement has its merits because a liberal education would enhance students' own field of study and sometimes help them develop physical fitness. Apart from this, a significant contribution in certain area like art and design needs interdisciplinary education. Beyond this concession, however, courses irrelevant to a student's major can serve as distractions and inhibit real academic advances.