briancd3
Sep 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / Should students have to wear uniforms? - Persuasive Essay [3]
I wrote this in a few hours total and put little effort into it because it's due very soon. I'd just like for someone to tell me if I made any mistakes or if it's just generally bad for a 10th grade essay. I'm also trying to remove all contractions (they're, don't, etc.) and I'm looking for parallelism mistakes. I ran into some trouble with the conclusion because I honestly have no idea how to form a good conclusion to anything besides a fiction narrative.
Should students have to wear uniforms?
Uniforms are seen almost anywhere in the world and are worn for many different reasons that could range from going to a reunion to going to work. People usually think of suits, tuxedos, or something a grown up would wear when "uniform" is said. Why are children expected to wear uniforms every day if grown-ups are the ones they usually see wearing them? Many students in the lower grades might not enjoy the uniform policy, but they also do not really care about it. However, the upper grades see it as a nuisance in their daily routines and despise the idea of doing it for so long. The truth behind the matter is that there are so many reasons that show the uniform policy's greatness or its issues. Security, bullies, characterization, individualism, and much more can be brought into concern when discussing this topic.
Everyone should be able to feel secure in their school and should not have to worry about anything going wrong. If there wasn't a uniform policy, random strangers could just walk into the school building and you would not be able to tell the difference. Students could conceal weapons in baggy or thick clothing, so that no one would know what they have. Teachers would have a much harder time trying to learn who you are when you're style of clothing or fashion changes every day; anyone could skip their class and just go to another where the teacher doesn't even know anyone's name. Bullies would be able to sneak into the same class as the student they are bullying and bully them daily with no problems.
Bad behavior is also a huge issue that can be found in hundreds of schools and it's not a very easy issue to handle. Uniforms don't directly conflict with behavior issues, but there have been students who would start a fight over something so ridiculous. Uniforms have deleted this whole situation by removing clothes related issues that would provoke another student. Students who want to leave could just get in their car and drive away without anyone seeing any sign of him or her being a student. Students would also put a little more effort into what they're learning if they are not worried about something as simple as clothes.
Students are encouraged to be creative and do something amazing every day by teachers or parents. How can students express their individuality when they are forced to wear the same thing as everyone around them? Students tend to alter their faces with jewelry to make up for this loss of freedom. Some schools actually tell their students to take the jewelry out and not to wear it again, so students are once again at a loss of creativity. The uniform policy puts many students in a state of no control and makes them feel insignificant, but its purposes are very useful to keeping a school in great shape.
I wrote this in a few hours total and put little effort into it because it's due very soon. I'd just like for someone to tell me if I made any mistakes or if it's just generally bad for a 10th grade essay. I'm also trying to remove all contractions (they're, don't, etc.) and I'm looking for parallelism mistakes. I ran into some trouble with the conclusion because I honestly have no idea how to form a good conclusion to anything besides a fiction narrative.
Should students have to wear uniforms?
Uniforms are seen almost anywhere in the world and are worn for many different reasons that could range from going to a reunion to going to work. People usually think of suits, tuxedos, or something a grown up would wear when "uniform" is said. Why are children expected to wear uniforms every day if grown-ups are the ones they usually see wearing them? Many students in the lower grades might not enjoy the uniform policy, but they also do not really care about it. However, the upper grades see it as a nuisance in their daily routines and despise the idea of doing it for so long. The truth behind the matter is that there are so many reasons that show the uniform policy's greatness or its issues. Security, bullies, characterization, individualism, and much more can be brought into concern when discussing this topic.
Everyone should be able to feel secure in their school and should not have to worry about anything going wrong. If there wasn't a uniform policy, random strangers could just walk into the school building and you would not be able to tell the difference. Students could conceal weapons in baggy or thick clothing, so that no one would know what they have. Teachers would have a much harder time trying to learn who you are when you're style of clothing or fashion changes every day; anyone could skip their class and just go to another where the teacher doesn't even know anyone's name. Bullies would be able to sneak into the same class as the student they are bullying and bully them daily with no problems.
Bad behavior is also a huge issue that can be found in hundreds of schools and it's not a very easy issue to handle. Uniforms don't directly conflict with behavior issues, but there have been students who would start a fight over something so ridiculous. Uniforms have deleted this whole situation by removing clothes related issues that would provoke another student. Students who want to leave could just get in their car and drive away without anyone seeing any sign of him or her being a student. Students would also put a little more effort into what they're learning if they are not worried about something as simple as clothes.
Students are encouraged to be creative and do something amazing every day by teachers or parents. How can students express their individuality when they are forced to wear the same thing as everyone around them? Students tend to alter their faces with jewelry to make up for this loss of freedom. Some schools actually tell their students to take the jewelry out and not to wear it again, so students are once again at a loss of creativity. The uniform policy puts many students in a state of no control and makes them feel insignificant, but its purposes are very useful to keeping a school in great shape.