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Posts by jsk_jin
Joined: Sep 28, 2013
Last Post: Sep 28, 2013
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From: United States of America

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jsk_jin   
Sep 28, 2013
Undergraduate / TOP in my college list ; Georgia Tech - Attraction and Contribution [2]

Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech and what do you hope to contribute to our community?

Ever since I realized that math and physics are where my passion lays, Georgia Tech has been on the top of my college list. Being a student in Georgia, I have visited the campus on several occasions. I was there to compete in the GT High School math contest, to serve as a judge for a minor award in the Senior Graduate Project fair, and was also invited to view the Inventure Prize. These experiences taught me about Georgia Tech. Each time I went there, all I feel are the eager of learning, the dedication and confidence of the students to their work, and most importantly, the excitement of innovation. That's what I want to be, and that's the atmosphere I dream of. If I can be part of the school, I will do my best to amplify these characters by both thriving academically and actively participating in clubs and sports activities. I am a 900-1000 rated table tennis player, aconstant math competition competitor, and I look forward to carry them on in college.

--finish--

The limit is 150 words max, while the paragraph above has 174. I need some advice on:1. How to thin it down a bit? and 2. How to make it better?

I am not confident about my writing skills....
I feel like I should extend the contribution section more, but I would have to cut my attraction section, which I personally believe that it will be very good and effective to the essay viewer.
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