Undergraduate / I know I am responsible for taking care of my younger siblings; U PENN [4]

The transitions between sentences are quite awkward, try to make them flow and connect more. Some of the tenses are inconsistent and sound awkward, like "All I can do at the time is to watch him suffer." An improvement would be "All I could do at the time was watch him suffer." There are other examples where this happens, if you correct it I think it will be a good essay! Good luck!