Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by yusukexo
Name: Yusuke Ohashi
Joined: Oct 11, 2013
Last Post: Oct 14, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Japan
School: EF International Language Center

Displayed posts: 5
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yusukexo   
Oct 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Which do you prefer: do only what you already do well, or not. [2]

I'm really happy if you give me a piece of advice. Thank you.

Q. 58. Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

===My answer===
You may love to try new things and take risks even if you aren't good at the things. That may help you expand experiences, look for your personalities and find your new talents. This ideal, however, doesn't necessarily be accomplished. If not, you might lose another chance that you could use to accomplish other things. So, I definitely believe that you should focus on what you are good at.

Focusing what you are good at helps you attain your goal. Without doubt, the more time you spend on what you do well, the more likely to achieve something great you will be. For instance, Albert Einstein, one of the most competent physicians in history, devoted most of his life to develop theory in physics and finally established special and general relativity. Instead, he hardly cared about something else. It is said that, surprisingly, he never tried to distinguish a hand soup and a facial soup because, at least for him, using two different soups properly was quite annoying. As the example above indicates, you will be more likely to accomplish your purpose by concentrating on what you do well.

If you keep doing what you already do well, you can be better good at it. When you're doing something well, you will feel more satisfied and more interested in it. Then, you will motivate yourself to do more. To give an example, I used to be good at math when I was in junior high school. Because I was really satisfied with the fact that I could do preferably, I became to absorb myself to try more advanced level of math problems. As a result, I could not only get higher scores in math test but also solve the university-level problems. Thus, by doing what you are good at, you will be better at it.

In summary, doing what you can already do well helps you make a big accomplishment and do it much better.
yusukexo   
Oct 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Always better to do the shopping in the big shopping mall [3]

You summarize your statement at the end of each paragraph.
Like:

Hence, shopping In small shops is still better than in the huge shopping mall.

It clarifies your position and helps us understand what you assert. But, you had better summarize what you states in the specific paragraph.
In the case above, you should say:
Hence, I'm more likely to buy local and special items if I go to a small shop than if I go to a big shopping mall.

Have fun!!
yusukexo   
Oct 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL WRITING: In 20 years from now on, students will not use printed books any more. [6]

When you talk about a hypothesis situation, you had better use such helping verb as "would", "could" and "should".

e.g. It is huge cost to transform all these books into electronic resources.
You mean, "if a library transformed all their(these) bools in to electronic resources, it would take huge cost."
That is, this isn't a factual statement but a hypothetical statement.

So, it is clearer to use conditional phrase than to use normal phrase.

I'll be happy if it helps you.

have fun :-)
yusukexo   
Oct 11, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL writing: governments should spend as much money as possible on IT? [3]

I'm really happy if you give me some advice :-)

--Question
Some people think that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one of these opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

--My essay
Every government has a definite budget and tries to use it as effectively as possible. Considering its usage, some people assert that governments should spend their budget on the development of basic needs. I definitely believe, however, that governments ought to use as much money for information technology as they can.

First and foremost, the development of technology can revitalize economy. Presently, the industry of computer technology is one of the most drastically growing field. That is, more entrepreneurs in IT field have founded their own company than in any other industry. If government invested huge amount of money, more and more companies would newly participate in this industry, which might not only produce a lot of profit but also encourage employment. This could result in the decrease of unemployment rate. Finally, people's salaries would go up and consumption would be stimulated. As the abovementioned statement clearly indicates, developing technology will be beneficial for economic growth.

Additionally, investing government's budget to computer technology industry would be beneficial for tax-payers. If a government installs new system and computers, the productivity of government sectors will be improved, which will contribute for government officers to working less time and result in the curtail of the officers. As a result, government will manage its operation by smaller budget, and various types of benefits for tax-payers, such as the reduction of tax rate or the improvement of service quality, could be created.

In summary, I certainly agree with the idea that government should invest as much budget to buy or develop computer technology. as possible.
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