alkinsen
Oct 23, 2013
Undergraduate / "Did you give some drugs to this kid?"; accomplishment or event, formal or informal [NEW]
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
There might be a lot of grammar mistakes, it is not proofread yet. Don't bother with it a lot.
What do you think about this personal essay mostly about structure and content wise. Please give me some advice about where to edit/remove/add
"Did you give some drugs to this kid?" was the question my elementary school teacher asked my father to remark on the change I had in 5 years.
"ENOUGH!", "SIT PROPERLY!", "BEHAVE YOURSELF!" were the magical phrases I have heard quite a lot in the beginning of the elementary school. I was the naughty type that always ended up in trouble. Even in first grade I got some stitches on my head. In second grade, there was a fight over the food line which ended in the principal's office. Even one of the inspectors who visit classrooms to check the students commented on my behalf that I, the problem kid, from his experience will be unsuccessful in life with severe disciplinary issues in school so he advised my teacher to throw me out, expel, because I would hinder other students' performance. It was not very long until I become one of the best students my teacher had and even considered the fact that I was given medication to amend my behavior. The thing that changed me is neither a medication nor a magical wand; it is far more special and powerful. The guidance of my grandmother shaped me into who I am today.
My transition from childhood to adulthood did not happen with just a single event. It was a long and hard process, which my grandmother made a lot of sacrifices to make sure I was raised to be as a successful person. As my two hardworking parents were doctors with a busy schedule, I spent nearly all my childhood with my grandmother. In the end my juvenile brain adopted and imitated what it received in those times.
Procrastination was quite sweet for the childish me; from delaying my homework to the minutes until my service bus was near my school, I turned out to be consistent and responsible as my grandmother was. She would wake up precisely at 6.00 am in the morning to start my waking up ceremony, a ceremony that consisted of preparing breakfast, waking me up slowly and making me ready for school bus on time. In her ways, it was not acceptable for me to be late for bus yet this was more than missing school. It was her responsible and dedicated personality that made sure all the things she had done was flawless. The same routine continued for years. Slowly I became more like her. I started to take my studies seriously and do my homework on time with great attention. As soon I reached a higher standards in the class there was nothing to stop me from aiming nothing but the top. The old "problem kid" could bear the idea of getting low marks and being scolded for behavior.
I also learned how to be optimistic about life. My grandmother showed me how a smile can work miracles for the people around you. Throughout my whole life I have never heard she complain for a second even though there were many misfortunate things that happened to her. Even in hard times her smiling face would empower all of us, especially me. To this day, I follow her steps by finding joy in the little things and looking at the bright side. By obtaining such a perspective I can maintain my serenity in tough situations and it is now one the most important aspect that I value in my friendships.
I cannot repay my grandmother for what she has done for me. I will always be in debt of her but I do my best to keep her sweet smile by letting her know that her creation, me, is successful. She has held my hand more than anyone else on the road to adulthood. However I do not declare myself as an adult or as a child. Although I am adult by my age according to the law, I still have a lot to learn about life and I am well aware of it.
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
There might be a lot of grammar mistakes, it is not proofread yet. Don't bother with it a lot.
What do you think about this personal essay mostly about structure and content wise. Please give me some advice about where to edit/remove/add
"Did you give some drugs to this kid?" was the question my elementary school teacher asked my father to remark on the change I had in 5 years.
"ENOUGH!", "SIT PROPERLY!", "BEHAVE YOURSELF!" were the magical phrases I have heard quite a lot in the beginning of the elementary school. I was the naughty type that always ended up in trouble. Even in first grade I got some stitches on my head. In second grade, there was a fight over the food line which ended in the principal's office. Even one of the inspectors who visit classrooms to check the students commented on my behalf that I, the problem kid, from his experience will be unsuccessful in life with severe disciplinary issues in school so he advised my teacher to throw me out, expel, because I would hinder other students' performance. It was not very long until I become one of the best students my teacher had and even considered the fact that I was given medication to amend my behavior. The thing that changed me is neither a medication nor a magical wand; it is far more special and powerful. The guidance of my grandmother shaped me into who I am today.
My transition from childhood to adulthood did not happen with just a single event. It was a long and hard process, which my grandmother made a lot of sacrifices to make sure I was raised to be as a successful person. As my two hardworking parents were doctors with a busy schedule, I spent nearly all my childhood with my grandmother. In the end my juvenile brain adopted and imitated what it received in those times.
Procrastination was quite sweet for the childish me; from delaying my homework to the minutes until my service bus was near my school, I turned out to be consistent and responsible as my grandmother was. She would wake up precisely at 6.00 am in the morning to start my waking up ceremony, a ceremony that consisted of preparing breakfast, waking me up slowly and making me ready for school bus on time. In her ways, it was not acceptable for me to be late for bus yet this was more than missing school. It was her responsible and dedicated personality that made sure all the things she had done was flawless. The same routine continued for years. Slowly I became more like her. I started to take my studies seriously and do my homework on time with great attention. As soon I reached a higher standards in the class there was nothing to stop me from aiming nothing but the top. The old "problem kid" could bear the idea of getting low marks and being scolded for behavior.
I also learned how to be optimistic about life. My grandmother showed me how a smile can work miracles for the people around you. Throughout my whole life I have never heard she complain for a second even though there were many misfortunate things that happened to her. Even in hard times her smiling face would empower all of us, especially me. To this day, I follow her steps by finding joy in the little things and looking at the bright side. By obtaining such a perspective I can maintain my serenity in tough situations and it is now one the most important aspect that I value in my friendships.
I cannot repay my grandmother for what she has done for me. I will always be in debt of her but I do my best to keep her sweet smile by letting her know that her creation, me, is successful. She has held my hand more than anyone else on the road to adulthood. However I do not declare myself as an adult or as a child. Although I am adult by my age according to the law, I still have a lot to learn about life and I am well aware of it.