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Posts by dnice
Name: Ariel Kidron
Joined: Oct 25, 2013
Last Post: Oct 26, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America
School: goshen

Displayed posts: 3
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dnice   
Oct 26, 2013
Undergraduate / "A Background or Story so central to my Identity" - My Common App Essay [3]

How old were you when you immigrated? and it seems to me that i this paragraph (I clearly remember those early years of American School for us, that during school lunches, I would look at around the room at the delicacies around me and then at mine in dismay. Bacon and PB&J were exotic elegances that I could only dream of. I disdainfully and wistfully stared down at my lunch, trying to imagine what turkey on Thanksgiving tasted like. What I did not realize was that this experience was universally shared by all immigrants: the Pakistani kid at the table next to me, the Ecuadorian in my class, and the Colombian I played with at recess). Your trying to convey a strong sense of diversity between immigrants and natives however, in my opinion you should use a stronger message than different foods to portray that.

Overall a good essay!
dnice   
Oct 25, 2013
Undergraduate / Moving to U.S.A from Israel; BACKGROUND STORY ; Common App [3]

Prompt: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Edit all you can and as you see fit! I will do the same.

"Tzeva Adom!" a siren blared. "Red Alert!"

The midnight alarm was loud and sharp, and woke me with a start as it echoed through my sluggish body. In the abstract, the alarm symbolized that each moment could be my last, and that every location could be my grave. But practically speaking, it symbolized that in only a matter of seconds, a missile would cut through my home, ravaging my most prized possessions and memories.

I had only moments to gather my younger siblings and escape to the bomb shelter. I shouted their names "Daniel! Roee! Shir!", as I ran from door to door, frantically herding my brothers and sister into the basement. The shock wave that followed the blast knocked me over, and the nauseating smell of smoke and debris filled the air. My family was safe, but my home was gone.

At that moment I yearned to understand "why". Why do we lob missiles back and forth between neighbors, and how can I personally play a role in stopping the violence?

I left Israel and came to the United States, determined to devote my life to stopping rocket fire in the Middle East, and fostering harmony among Israel's neighbors. I knew that adopting a new language, new customs, new culture and new friends would be extremely difficult, but I had a clear purpose behind my move to the States.

I spent the last five years in pursuit to elevate my knowledge and consequently better my understanding of the Arab-Israeli conflict. Through continuous study in school, and participation in international organizations I am closer than ever to solving the question that has troubled me ever the missile hit. In hopes, to prevent occurrences such as mine from ever happening again.

An American education is one of the best in the world. Directly placing me in the center of world diplomacy. It is the ideal place for me to learn how to resolve great and complex issues. American universities employ the finest professors, graduate the highest quality, and offer the world to their students. Thus, American schooling is my main hope to actively contribute to the fullest of my potential. I strive to learn more, and to know more. Achieving the best I can acquire; I have an opportunity in this country to be what I want to be. Now as I look back at this moment, I can unquestionably say that I have overcome all those hurdles that I once wondered about as I immigrated from Israel; I have overcome the language barrier; I have become habituated to the new life and custom.

But, the most important obstacle in my journey for change is yet to be crossed. I know I can succeed in my education, bringing my diverse knowledge into one concrete institution and applying this knowledge to further my opportunities within the greater community. I am blessed to have lived in and understand two vastly different cultures. I'm certain that that this diverse perspective will help me adapt to the challenges of college life.

My move to the United States has shaped my life, making me view education, especially, as a window to comprehend my reality and persevere through it. I am determined more than ever to change my reality and stop missile attacks in Israel. I view education as the road to accomplish this. Now, I want to show the world what I can do. International diplomacy has become my passion. It will be my future. No one person can end the Israels' problems . But, today I begin my journey for change.
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