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Posts by eamitchel
Name: Elizabeth Mitchel
Joined: Nov 11, 2013
Last Post: Nov 12, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: United States of America
School: NA

Displayed posts: 5
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eamitchel   
Nov 12, 2013
Undergraduate / Softball field; Most Content? And Why? [2]

I think your introduction displays your excellent writing and description abilities, but to me it seems out of place that you talk about an injury as a lead-in to where you feel most content. I would suggest starting out with imagery of a home run or some other happy part of softball if you are writing about being content.

Horror struckfilled the faces of the crowd as the object struck her face. My body froze as a gasp escaped my lips. I stared at this pile of flesh and bones covered in the flowing red liquid. It was my fault silence had filled the air only to be broken by the screaming sirens of the ambulance. It was my bat that had swung and sent the ball whizzing into her face at an unstoppable speed. I was the reason her body lay limp surrounded by paramedics discussing her multiple facial fractures. The intensity that is apparent in each second you spendt on a softball field is where I find myself to feel utterly content.

As I approach the batter's box, my mind flees from the world. I allow myself to feel peaceful in this simple competition between the pitcher and Ime. The extraneous factors may put a pressure on me, but my confidence has been boosted by endless hours spent working for this moment. While analyzing my previous failures, instead of letting it become detrimental to my confidence, I embrace my failures as motivation. Instead of giving up, I put every ounce of resentment into one swing. The stands erupting in praise as you connect with the ball, sending it over the fence and winning your team the game is nominal in comparison to the uncontrollable smile produced by the feeling of fulfillmentfulfilment. This game- winning hit is a rare occurrence and I commonly find myself having anbeing unproductive at bat. When I don't have superior performance in my at bats, I simply analyze my batting average. In the eyes of society, a successful batting average is a .300, this means you can fail 70% of the time and still be perceived as an auspicious batter. In most situations, such a ludicrous failure to success ratio would be given a negative connotation, but as a softball player I take my minimal chance for achievement as motivation to work harder to increase the productivity to make the aberrant events more likely to occur.

Being content aton a softball field, to continue, has always been moreto me than just the hard work paying off. When I step onto the field, I join all who have played before to make the sport great, and I play for those who have yet to find the joy of softball. Growing up, I spent most of my time observing those who helped make softball a worldwide game, and have strivedstriven to represent the game in such a way that I would inspire the next generation of players. This goal of mineMy goal was met when my coach's niece walked up to the field wearing the jersey of her first ever softball team with the number 37 printed on the back. I was intrigued as to why this girl, who had a family history of softball players, had chosen my number. After congratulating her about making her first team, my coach pulled me aside to tell me that she had told her father that she picked my number because she wanted to be as good as me. Seeing that I had inspired someone the same way I wasthat I had been inspired when I looked up to those who came beforeme made me feel complacent.

Of all locations, I have yet to find anywhere that contents mefills me with joy like a softball field does.because itSoftball has pushed me to be all that I can be in all aspects of my life and allowed me to benefit something greater than myself.
eamitchel   
Nov 12, 2013
Graduate / Teacher's Assistant in a class of 20 immigrants and refugees; Peace Corps Motivation [2]

Hello! Any feedback would be highly appreciated! I need to get it down to 500 words (about 120 words too much as of now!) Prompt: Essays
The two essay questions below will provide the Peace Corps with additional information and insights that will be used to assess your suitability for Peace Corps service. If you are invited to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer, your essays will be shared with staff in your country of service.

Foreign Languages and Travel



My fascination with the idea of joining the Peace Corps began when I was in high school. I was driven by a desire for adventure, intercultural exchange, and the opportunity to help others while learning important skills. Since then I have had significant experience volunteering and working as an English teacher, as well as volunteering in food security and sustainable agriculture. This led me to develop an understanding of some challenges that face our planet and society, as well as inspiring me to work to make positive changes in the areas of my experience.

My motivation to join the Peace Corps was reinforced by an eye-opening experience I had volunteering at a public education centre in Vancouver, Canada. I acted as a Teacher's Assistant in a class of 20 immigrants and refugees, where I cultivated friendly relationships with many of the students. Many of them had come to Canada from lives of hardship and even tragedy. I respected each one and was impressed by their courage, hard work and perseverance. Since communication and literacy are so fundamental to success in a new country, teaching English gave me insight into the challenges that immigrants face. I am interested in teaching English through the Peace Corps because EFL teachers have the ability to help students move forward in many areas, and to open many doors of opportunity to them. I would like to share my skills in education, agriculture or environment with people in need through the Peace Corps program.

In addition to the cultural exchanges in this EFL class, I have also lived and travelled in Europe, Turkey and Israel for two and half years in total. Volunteering, working, and living in the conditions of the local people were truly rewarding experiences, from which I learned many important life lessons. They also fostered an aspiration in me to continue my travels in destinations whose culture were even farther from my own, staying in one place for more time, while working and contributing something of value. By volunteering with the Peace Corps for 27 months, one can truly integrate oneself into the culture of the area, build trust with the people there, and take on social responsibilities. In the process, volunteering through the Peace Corps is a chance to promote a better understanding of other peoples in myself, which I would share upon my return to the USA, and to promote a better understanding of Americans abroad.

I know that it will be a challenge to serve as a volunteer under conditions of hardship [core expectation], but I look forward to facing that and adapting to my new living situation. I view it as an invaluable learning opportunity and a chance to deepen my appreciation for all that I have. I plan to overcome this challenge by working hard to integrate myself into the local culture and to make friends there. I will also continue my practice of awareness of the present in order to deal with the feeling of being out of place, overwhelmed and frightened.

The Peace Corps is an incredible opportunity to help others while learning new skills and creating an experience of mutual learning and cultural integration. Serving as a Peace Corps volunteer is in line with my life goals as a citizen of the world who works proactively for positive changes, as well as my career goal of becoming a teacher of English as a foreign language to immigrants, refugees and others.
eamitchel   
Nov 11, 2013
Graduate / SOP for Aeromechanics. Need your help to edit and shorten it to 250 words. help out guys [3]

I think my edits have eliminated some words, hopefully they are enough! Good luck!

As a child, I always dreamt of becoming an engineer and it was the field of mechanical which caught my interest when I had beena trip to a vintage car museumsparked my interest in the field of mechanicalinduring my childhood days.and tThis interest grew further byas I watchinged various educational programs on television. My growing passion madeinspired me to take up an undergraduate course in Mechanical Engineering and at the end of 4 years of my UG course, I stood in the top 20 % of the students in mechanical department with an aggregate of 67.3%.

During my course, I was a part of various co-curricular activities which helped me for my overall development. Frequent interactions with the professors madestrengthened my basics strong in the subjects like Thermodynamics, Turbo machines and Machine dDesign. [During my pre-final year, I thought of carrying out a project on "Vertical axis windmills" which required an aerofoil design. Although the project could not completed due to academic pressure, the subject created special interest in me, which pushed me towards XXXX . My academic project on "development of dynamic simulator test rig for testing composite leaf spring" enhanced my knowledge inof fracture mechanics and bolstered my design skills. My work experience on Vibration testing machine in R&D environment strengthened my knowledge in Experimental vibrations. I have also conceived of a project on "Vertical axis windmills," but have not yet had the chance to complete it. This idea has sparked a particular interest in me, which is part of my motivation to XXXX.

My willingnessambition to explore research opportunities in the field of turbo machines also encouraged me to pursue a master's program. XXXX is one suchachallenging program which I foundseemsperfectly structured and matches finely with my interests. My technical knowledge along withandmy work experience in the research field would enable me to excel in this program.
eamitchel   
Nov 11, 2013
Graduate / I feel blessed to have had great teachers, parents, and friends; SOP for Accounting PhD [3]

Hello! I wish I could provide more constructive criticism, but to me it seems that your essay is genuine and describes your experience and qualifications quite well. It also seems fairly specific since you describe various events and experiences in your life. I looked it over and changed a few words and spelling things. I included the edited version with changes tracked as an attachment.
eamitchel   
Nov 11, 2013
Graduate / Working in Turkish farm; Peace Corps Cultural Integration Entrance Essay [2]

Traveling to Foreign Countries / Turkey



I have been lucky to have many opportunities to travel outside the United States, as well as cultivating many cross-cultural relationships within the USA. This past year I volunteered for three months on various organic farms in rural Turkey, and the cultural environment there was completely different from anything I was familiar with. The main barrier I faced was that I was a foreign, non-Muslim woman working in the fields with labourers who were mostly men. In addition to dealing with the language barrier, I was forced to adapt myself to Muslim village culture.

When I arrived at the first farm where I worked in Turkey I felt slightly unwelcome because most of the people did not speak with me or even look at me. I later learned that this is typical behaviour towards a woman, especially a foreign woman, in Turkish villages. Although I felt alienated, it was a form of respect that the men I worked alongside avoided looking at me or interacting with me. Over time, as I learned more Turkish, I began to make conversation with them, being careful not to send any mixed messages, and limiting conversations to practical items. I also made special efforts to cultivate friendships with the women of the farm.

Through observing and asking questions when appropriate, I quickly learned what behaviour was appropriate, while also trying hard not to compromise my sense of identity. This meant that I did not wear a headscarf, but I did wear very modest clothes. The first things I sought to learn in Turkish were traditional expressions of thanks and respect, and these were received with particular appreciation and respect in return. Although I worked on these farms as a foreign volunteer, I integrated into the culture of the workers by constantly finding ways to help them with their work, to work as hard as they did, and to bring them tea, which I learned is a very important gesture of friendship in Turkish culture. I worked hard in the fields and when I came inside proceeded to cook and make tea for the other workers, as is expected of any Turkish woman. I also worked very hard to speak as much Turkish as possible, even creating a makeshift language exchange with the workers who were interested in learning English. We would practice counting and using basic expressions in both languages in the fields and at mealtimes. When I left Turkey I truly felt a part of the community on the farms where I worked and I received heartfelt goodbyes, thoughtful gifts, and gestures of respect.

This experience taught me that it is important not to jump to conclusions about other cultures and traditions. Many foreign volunteers felt offended by the workers because they felt ignored, excluded, and the female volunteers felt that they were being treated in a sexist way. I learned that it is important to observe and to ask questions about a new culture instead of judging differences. By stepping back and avoiding judgment of the situation, I came to understand, appreciate, and integrate myself into Turkish culture, which was incredibly rewarding and memorable.
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