ElizabethMaz
Nov 13, 2013
Undergraduate / "It's true, I am afraid of dying; Brown Transfer - field of study [3]
"My mom carefully placed it in a cardboard box and drove it down to our neighborhood animal hospital, but by then they (instead of they, use "the doctors" or whoever is relevant here) couldn't do anything to save it"
I would suggest spelling out numbers!
"By morning, as best as we tried to save it, it was dead." I feel like some rephrasing would help, also refer to the "It" as the rabbit. Maybe something like: "We tried to save the rabbit as best as we could, but by the time morning came around it was too late."
"My mom carefully placed it in a cardboard box and drove it down to our neighborhood animal hospital, but by then they (instead of they, use "the doctors" or whoever is relevant here) couldn't do anything to save it"
I would suggest spelling out numbers!
"By morning, as best as we tried to save it, it was dead." I feel like some rephrasing would help, also refer to the "It" as the rabbit. Maybe something like: "We tried to save the rabbit as best as we could, but by the time morning came around it was too late."