Undergraduate / I started my education in a Japanese school, in Indonesia; Common App [4]

So because I moved schools from Indonesia to America in my junior year I am required to write this. How is it?

I started my education in a Japanese school, in Indonesia. I always had a desire to go back to California one day for pursuing higher education and career. Before entering 9th grade, I asked if I could move to an English speaking school to help me improve my English skill and there was a perfect British education system in my city for me. My first year, my grades were not good because I was in the process of getting used to the new systems; however, I was determined and fast learner. I remember staying after school and having extra sessions with the teacher to catch up with all my studies. By my 10th grade, my grades were starting to show some improvements. Finally I had the confident in pursuing my dream; deciding to move to Stevenson school from 11th grade. Once again, a new transition to an American system school was a struggle, but I was able to improve my grades and receive an honor roll within a year. Therefore, I believe that my 9th grade grades are not unable to represent my full academic abilities as it took some time to adapt to the new educational systems. Also, the school I attended for my first two years of high school was an education system for the Singapore-Cambridge IGCSE "O" level examination. All my grades recorded was purely based on the grade I received from my mock IGCSE examinations I took in the end of every term.

Undergraduate / 'observing and listening to people' - USC Short Answers - Academic Interest [6]

Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. (250 word limit)

My father is a graduate of USC and when I visited with him for the first time last year, I absolutely fell in love with the campus. I have a friend that lives in the Fluor Tower and I got the opportunity to stay over thanksgiving for 9 days. It is very diverse and I knew that USC was the school that I wanted to pursue my dream. My intended major is psychology. Growing up in a very diverse place, I started to find interest in how people behave and react in certain situations. Observing people and listening to them has always been one of my passions. During my stay, I visited Dana and David Dornsife, and talked with my friend's suite mate who takes psychology. She told me that USC has an amazing program for psychology. Being a private institution, the classes are not very big, therefore I can focus more on my studies and talk with the professors more. I loved how the students were very close with the professors. I know that I want to come to this school and prepare for my future.

I feel like it's a little bit short and not good at all! Please help!

Undergraduate / I used to swim every day in my hometown; USC - extracurricular activities [2]

In a short paragraph, please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (250 word limit)

Oftentimes my only resort and escape was swimming. Prior to moving to the United States, I used to swim every day in my hometown before I moved to America for high school. Year round, the climate was much more suited to the outdoor swimming. I first started learning to swim at a very young age. My first experience with swimming was an unfortunate one. Essentially, I was drowning in my parents' backyard swimming pool. After my mother dived into the pool and saved me, I was subsequently enrolled in swimming lessons. Of all my hobbies and talents, I enjoy swimming the most. Swimming provides me with a sense of purpose, direction and most of all, pleasure in an intrinsic activity.

I began to enter swimming competitions and mastered the front-crawl, breaststroke and
freestyle. More importantly, I began to dive on a frequent basis. I was incredibly passionate about diving and would often spend hours engaged in this activity. Often, I would come down with a cold or flu due to excessive time spent in the pool and this would infuriate my mother! Swimming has played a huge part in my life and I look forward to brushing up on my various strokes at your university swimming pool.

what do you think about it? thanks!