Undergraduate / 'See the world for change' - University of California Santa Barbra [5]

1. Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

1. I remember the day I first announced I was a decedent of the Taino Indian Kiskeia Tribe. Until then I thought I was like every other kid, sharing the common threads of living as an American teen in upscale suburbia. It was during a project in middle school where we were to create a portrait of ourselves; it was fascinating research until the presentation in class when fascination turned quickly to shame. I became the class punch line, ridiculed and called a redskin. The incident stayed with me for years and became a private stigma, leaving an emotional imprint deeper than I could imagine, feeling awkward, unpopular and unwanted. It was a defining moment. In retrospect I am saddened at how cruel bullies can be because it affected my self-worth, my esteem, and my grades.

Years later another teacher encouraged me to explore this facet of myself. I researched how a once proud and flourishing culture was conquered, ravaged with the most inhumane torture and yet refused to be vanquished. The Taino Indian women in particular were fiercely strong warriors, healers and providers. They were raped, interbred over generations purposefully to dilute the race into extinction. But they kept their dignity and cultural ember alive until 2007 when Tainos confronted the global community and won the right to self-determination to be recognized as a sovereign nationality.

This new knowledge was an epiphany, providing insight into my DNA explaining those quietly innate qualities that define me like my passion for horses, nature, medicine and art. It awakened my sense of honor and made my point of view relevant. I found my voice and value. A new sense of identity became the pivot point when I became committed to following my aspirations and my grades, weight, esteem, my place in world began to matter.

Life is just that; a journey of self-discovery. We are all searching for ourselves through the tears of doubt and shame.
Like the Taino people I used adversity turning shame into a crucible for strength.
Gandhi said, "be the change you wish to see in the world". Today I am influenced by the world as much as the world is influenced by me. I want to challenge convention and bring a new perspective to my educational community. I have empathy for those are maligned or under-represented. I have an insatiable hunger for knowledge and a vision quest to transform the world through my chosen field of medicine. I believe in order to make good decisions about where we are going, we first have to know where we've been and love ourselves for who we are.

For everyone who, like me, has felt alone, inadequate, misunderstood and like a failure at times. Those times are our best teachers and the truth is we are the weavers of dreams, we are the heroes of stories and we are the rocks upon which castles are built.