Book Reports / sadako sasaki - book summary [2]

A Japanese legend says that your greatest wish will come true if you fold 1000 origami cranes. A young Japanese girl, Sadako Sasaki, has inspired millions to fold cranes for peace. She suffered from leukemia as a result of the atomic bomb dropped on Japan during WWII. Her wish to live sparked her attempt to fold 1000 cranes. After her death a memorial was built to remember her and all innocent victims of war. This origami crane was folded with a wish for peace then strung with a crystal heart to catch the suns rays and shine for peace in our world.

i'm having trouble condensing this paragraph. could anyone please give me some ideas on how to do it? also, leukemia in here is not supposed to be capitalized, right? i looked it up and found a site that had a list of examples, illness is not one of them. i just wanted to get a confirmation on that. the part "as a result of the atomic bomb dropped on japan during wwii" is a little weird...is this better? --> as a result of the atomic bombing in japan during wwii"

Undergraduate / 'Trying to adapt to this foreign country' - significant learning experience [NEW]

My essay question is "Describe a significant learning experience in your life." What was it about the experience, more than the subject, that made it significant?

i'm not sure if i answered this question sufficiently. it's a transfer essay. i know i have tense and wordiness problems but i'm sure there are more ^.~ please help.

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"No crying." My aunt uttered these two words to us. I turned to look at my sister and my mom but the their tears just dripped down their faces. All of a sudden the four of us, including my aunt, began to sob as we said our goodbyes. I never thought that this moment would actually come. Just yesterday I was playing with my friends happily, perhaps, to avoid the fact that I am leaving my home and my mother.

My sister and I had been petitioned by our father to come to America accompanied by our grandfather. This moment would have come sooner had my mom took care of the papers. When she received my father's letter about the petition papers, she ignored it. What mother can bear to lose their children? She spoke to us about it and we all decided not to discuss about the matter. Finally after two years, she took us to Manila and began to process the petition papers. Did my mother give up on us? Did she want us to go away? These questions lingered in my thoughts but knowing my own mother, she would not dare. Like many, she would give up her life for us. During our two months stay in Manila, I confronted her about it. She looked at me and tried to explain but her tears uncontrollably trickled down her cheeks. The only thing she could whisper was, "I am doing this for you" and gave me a hug I will never forget. I did not understand what she said.

Six months later we are off to America. My grandfather even ended his Philippine vacation just so my sister and I would not be alone in the plane. Both of us were so exhausted from crying that we fell asleep as soon as the plane gained altitude. My mom and I had been protecting my sister from any family problems ever since. We did not want her to feel any sadness. All I could say to her now was about going to Disneyland. It made her happy.

The next thing I knew, we are driving down a freeway. Looking out the window, I gazed upon the bald mountains and the calmness of the traffic. I must be dreaming. I wanted to wake up and see my mother again! Instead, I turned around and saw my stepmother playing with my little brother. Sleeping next to me is my sister. I fell back to sleep, again.

All these years I had been troubled, depressed and tried to adapt to this foreign country and my new family. A part of me never accepted any of it. Yet the look on my mother's eyes vividly remained in my memory. It kept me going hoping to see and be with her again.

My mother did what she had to do without thinking of herself. She gave us up in exchange to better our lives. America is the land of opportunity. She was not willing to take our opportunity away from us, even if it means losing her children. She made a sacrifice that sculpted my life, our lives. I, now, understand.