Undergraduate / After each successive plunge, I gain speed; Williams supplement [2]

What's the supp question? It's a very vivid essay, you have a lot of descriptive words, but you focus too much on the storyline. There needs to be more analysis - ask yourself, "What is the point of this essay? What am I trying to get across?" Also, take out "now sadly deceased" - it sounds weird. Good luck, I'm sending out my apps this week as well!