nghiavtran
Jan 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Television teaches violence - my paragraph about television. [5]
I think you don't understand structure of a paragraph
I think you don't understand structure of a paragraph
nghiavtran
Jan 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Television teaches violence - my paragraph about television. [5]
i think that brutal and violent have the same meaning.
this sentence is fairly unrelated to the topic sentence.
Thanks for your comment. If you don't mind, plss give feedback to me.
Nowadays, there are many movies shown on television that contain brutal violent scenes including shooting, assassinations, mass killing etc.
i think that brutal and violent have the same meaning.
For instance,children have a natural tendency to follow the actions of adults and these violent actions may provoke them to act violently.
this sentence is fairly unrelated to the topic sentence.
Thanks for your comment. If you don't mind, plss give feedback to me.
nghiavtran
Jan 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Television teaches violence - my paragraph about television. [5]
Television is harmful to children because it teaches them violence as a way of solving problems. Nowadays, there are many brutal movies on television contain violent scenes such as shooting scenes, or a bunch of fighting scenes. Actually, This sort of movie affects negatively to most children. For instance, Children always tend to act out what they recognized from television with friends at school and also with their parents at home. Moreover, Children's TV shows use a lot of bloody acts as real examples. Although children are very excited at these programs, they don't know that it leads their behaviors into aggressive. For example, when children have an argument with other people, they unconsciously deal with these problems by fighting instead of using the word. In short, With the booming of television programs, it should be an alarm since television is really harmful to children as it teaches them violence as a way of tackling problems.
Television is harmful to children because it teaches them violence as a way of solving problems. Nowadays, there are many brutal movies on television contain violent scenes such as shooting scenes, or a bunch of fighting scenes. Actually, This sort of movie affects negatively to most children. For instance, Children always tend to act out what they recognized from television with friends at school and also with their parents at home. Moreover, Children's TV shows use a lot of bloody acts as real examples. Although children are very excited at these programs, they don't know that it leads their behaviors into aggressive. For example, when children have an argument with other people, they unconsciously deal with these problems by fighting instead of using the word. In short, With the booming of television programs, it should be an alarm since television is really harmful to children as it teaches them violence as a way of tackling problems.