tarabas
Jan 20, 2014
Writing Feedback / People attend university for many different reasons. 'making more money' [4]
Hello
Please comment on my essay. I am preparing for the TOEFL.
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
People sure do attend college or university for a great variety of reasons - it would be safe to assume that the exact number of reasons equals the number of people. However, since I have attended university once, and now I am preparing for entering an undergraduate program again, I believe I know what the most important reason is. It is not knowledge, nor it is thurst for new experience, or anything romantic for that matter. The driving force is plain old career preparation, which I have seen a lot of times, and in a lot of my colleagues, and I am not an exception.
Maybe one of the best examples would be my own impetus - the only thing that I want from my further education is opportunity to advance in a career that I have chosen - that is, engineering in my case. Of course, I love the subject and I find it very interesting, but I am perfectly aware that I need a good job in order to have a good life, and this is what I expect to be the end result of my education. I see college at a tool that I am using to achieve my future plans.
But speaking only from my own experience is not enough. After all, each person is a completely different universe, right? Yes, to a certain extent. My girlfriend is a dentist, and we have had this conversation a lot of times - she told me that the only reason she went to medical school is the desire for a good career, social status, and salary. I am perfectly aware how shallow this sounds, but truths are not always very pleasant to the ear. My sister, who is also in the medical school, has told me the same thing. The list goes on and on, but the pattern rarely changes - people educate themselves just to get to the place they want to be.
Let us proceed and see why would anyone go to college just to gain knowledge, when this can be done in the comfort of your own home? Not to say that you will not be required to pay taxes. What about the new experiences, meeting new people and making social contacts? Nowadays, the university is the last place people do these things. I have attended university for 4 years, achieved a degree in Public Relations, and now I am in my second year of college, studying Electrical Engineering, and I have not made a single friend during that period. Most of the people are like me - they prefer to make connections through Facebook, not face to face.
With this being said, I believe the reader is convinced that people attend university with the sole reason of making more money in the future. After all, nobody would put himself through years of vigorous studying just for the sake of it. Is this assertion in contrast with the romantic notion of human nature? Maybe it is, but I firmly stand behind my words. When I wake up tomorrow morning and head on to the college, I would not be thinking of friends, or knowledge - I will be thinking of how my education will pave my way to the job I want.
20 Jan
547 words, 25 min
Hello
Please comment on my essay. I am preparing for the TOEFL.
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
People sure do attend college or university for a great variety of reasons - it would be safe to assume that the exact number of reasons equals the number of people. However, since I have attended university once, and now I am preparing for entering an undergraduate program again, I believe I know what the most important reason is. It is not knowledge, nor it is thurst for new experience, or anything romantic for that matter. The driving force is plain old career preparation, which I have seen a lot of times, and in a lot of my colleagues, and I am not an exception.
Maybe one of the best examples would be my own impetus - the only thing that I want from my further education is opportunity to advance in a career that I have chosen - that is, engineering in my case. Of course, I love the subject and I find it very interesting, but I am perfectly aware that I need a good job in order to have a good life, and this is what I expect to be the end result of my education. I see college at a tool that I am using to achieve my future plans.
But speaking only from my own experience is not enough. After all, each person is a completely different universe, right? Yes, to a certain extent. My girlfriend is a dentist, and we have had this conversation a lot of times - she told me that the only reason she went to medical school is the desire for a good career, social status, and salary. I am perfectly aware how shallow this sounds, but truths are not always very pleasant to the ear. My sister, who is also in the medical school, has told me the same thing. The list goes on and on, but the pattern rarely changes - people educate themselves just to get to the place they want to be.
Let us proceed and see why would anyone go to college just to gain knowledge, when this can be done in the comfort of your own home? Not to say that you will not be required to pay taxes. What about the new experiences, meeting new people and making social contacts? Nowadays, the university is the last place people do these things. I have attended university for 4 years, achieved a degree in Public Relations, and now I am in my second year of college, studying Electrical Engineering, and I have not made a single friend during that period. Most of the people are like me - they prefer to make connections through Facebook, not face to face.
With this being said, I believe the reader is convinced that people attend university with the sole reason of making more money in the future. After all, nobody would put himself through years of vigorous studying just for the sake of it. Is this assertion in contrast with the romantic notion of human nature? Maybe it is, but I firmly stand behind my words. When I wake up tomorrow morning and head on to the college, I would not be thinking of friends, or knowledge - I will be thinking of how my education will pave my way to the job I want.
20 Jan
547 words, 25 min